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Many people, including highly influential people, turn to spirituality at some point juncture) in life. What do you think are the reasons? How does their inclination o spirituality affect their lives?

Many people, including highly influential people, turn to spirituality at some point juncture) in life. What do you think are the reasons? How does their inclination o spirituality affect their lives? OVrdN
THERE IS NO DENYING THAT SPIRITUALITY IS THAT PART OF OURSELF THAT HELPS US TO FIND MEANING. CONNECTEDNESS AND PURPOSE OF LIFE. WHILE SOME PEOPLE, LIKE HIGHLY QUALIFIED PEOPLE CHANGE TO SPIRITUALITY AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE. I OPPOSE THE VIEW AND MY REASONS WILL BE EXPLAINED IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS LET US TAKE AT LOOK TO REASONS OF CHOOSING SPIRITUALITY IS THE ONLY WAY TO FIND YOURSELF AND LEARN ABOUT YOUR LIFE KNOWING THE SPIRITUAL VALUE IS ESSENTIAL FOR GREAT IFESTYLE MOST OF THE PEOPLE LIKE TO KNOW ABOT THAT IS JUST TO SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS LIKE HEALTH RELATED OR MANY OTHER KINDS OF ISSUE. SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE CAN BE HELPFUL WHEN COPING WITH THE STRESSES OF LIFE. SPIRITUALITY CAN HELP PEOPLE DEVELOP A MORE HOPEFUL OUTLOOK ON LIFE, MOST OF THE PEOPLE LIKELY TO CHOOSE SPIRITUALITY BECAUSE OF THEIR LIFE ISSUES THEY TURNED INTO THAT JUST TO FIND AND LEARN MORAL VALUES OF LIFE. IN RECENT TIME BEING A SPIRITUAL PERSON IS VERY COMMON PEOPLE LIKE TO BE A SPIRITUAL BECAUSE OF TECHNOLOGY THEY CAN NOW EASILY LEARN ABOUT THAT BY INTERNATE. BEING A SPIRITUAL IS ADORABLE EXPERIENCE I THOUGHT CONSEQUENTLY SPIRITUALITY AFFECT MANY WAYS ON HUMAN BEINGS. THERE ARE MANY RESEARCHES CONDUCTED FOR THAT SOME OBSERVATIONAL STUDIES SUGGEGST THAT PEOPLE WHO HAVE REGULAR SPIRITUAL PRACTICES TENT TO LIVE LONGER LIFE IN ADDITIOND ITS ALSO IMPROVE THE MECHANISMS OF BODY AND THE STRENGHT OF PERSONAL VALUES. PATIENTS WHO ARE SPIRITUAL THEIR BELIEFS IN COPING WITHILLNESS. PAIN AND LIFE STRESSES. IT HELPS MANY WAYS FOR HUMANS. TO SUM, I BELIEVED THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE TURN INTO SPIRITUALITY IS JUST FOR THEIR INTERNAL DEVELOPMENT ITS HELP THEM MANY WAYS. EVERY PEOPLE MUST HAVE TO KNOW THEIR STRENGHT AND THEIR WEEKNESS SO EVERYBODY SHOULD BE SPIRITUAL AT SOME POINT.
THERE IS NO DENYING THAT SPIRITUALITY IS THAT PART OF
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
OURSELF
THAT
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "HELPS US FIND"?
HELPS US TO FIND
MEANING. CONNECTEDNESS AND PURPOSE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
. WHILE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
, LIKE
HIGHLY
QUALIFIED
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGE
TO SPIRITUALITY AT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
POINT IN THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
. I OPPOSE THE VIEW AND MY REASONS WILL BE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EXPLAINED
IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LET
US TAKE AT LOOK TO REASONS OF CHOOSING SPIRITUALITY IS THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WAY
TO FIND YOURSELF AND LEARN ABOUT YOUR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
KNOWING THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPIRITUAL
VALUE IS ESSENTIAL FOR GREAT
Possible spelling mistake found.
IFESTYLE
MOST OF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
LIKE TO KNOW
Possible spelling mistake found.
ABOT
THAT IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
JUST
TO SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS LIKE HEALTH RELATED OR
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
OTHER KINDS OF ISSUE.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPIRITUAL
EXPERIENCE CAN BE HELPFUL WHEN COPING WITH THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STRESSES
OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
. SPIRITUALITY CAN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HELP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
DEVELOP A MORE HOPEFUL OUTLOOK ON
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
, MOST OF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
LIKELY TO CHOOSE SPIRITUALITY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
ISSUES THEY TURNED INTO THAT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
JUST
TO FIND AND LEARN MORAL VALUES OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
. IN RECENT TIME BEING A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPIRITUAL
PERSON IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
VERY
COMMON
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
LIKE TO BE A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPIRITUAL
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF TECHNOLOGY THEY CAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
EASILY
LEARN ABOUT THAT BY
Possible spelling mistake found.
INTERNATE
. BEING A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPIRITUAL
IS ADORABLE EXPERIENCE I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THOUGHT
CONSEQUENTLY
SPIRITUALITY AFFECT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WAYS
ON HUMAN BEINGS. THERE ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
RESEARCHES CONDUCTED FOR THAT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
OBSERVATIONAL STUDIES
Possible spelling mistake found.
SUGGEGST
THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WHO HAVE REGULAR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPIRITUAL
PRACTICES TENT TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVE
LONGER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
IN
Possible spelling mistake found.
ADDITIOND
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
ITS
ALSO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IMPROVE
THE MECHANISMS OF BODY AND THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
STRENGHT
OF PERSONAL VALUES. PATIENTS WHO ARE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPIRITUAL
THEIR BELIEFS IN COPING
Possible spelling mistake found.
WITHILLNESS
. PAIN AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STRESSES
. IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HELPS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WAYS
FOR HUMANS. TO SUM, I BELIEVED THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WHO ARE TURN INTO SPIRITUALITY IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
JUST
FOR THEIR INTERNAL DEVELOPMENT ITS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HELP
THEM
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WAYS
. EVERY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MUST
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
HAVE TO
KNOW THEIR
Possible spelling mistake found.
STRENGHT
AND THEIR
Possible spelling mistake found.
WEEKNESS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
EVERYBODY SHOULD BE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPIRITUAL
AT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
POINT.
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IELTS essay Many people, including highly influential people, turn to spirituality at some point juncture) in life. What do you think are the reasons? How does their inclination o spirituality affect their lives?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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