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Many people illegally download music from the Internet. Is this a good thing or a bad thing for the music industry? (140 - 190 words)

Many people illegally download music from the Internet. Is this a good thing or a bad thing for the music industry? (140 - 190 words) 7rXq3
Illegal downloading of music from the internet has become a common occurrence nowadays. Although some people believe that it does not affect the artists, I think that this is a bad thing for the music industry. Some people consider that artists will not be financially affected by illegal downloads on the Internet since they have multiple sources of income. Although the consumers do not pay for their songs, they can still earn their money through advertising and music videos. However, I believe that this will impact the music industry negatively. Recording music needs high production costs because it involves many professionals such as singers and composers. If they do not have abundance compensation due to illegal downloading, they are unable to survive in this competitive market in the long term. Besides, I also think that this will discourage the musicians who spent hours creating good music. Therefore, the musicians will lose power to continue composing wonderful songs. Hence, the music industry will become a sunset field due to lack of talents. In conclusion, I believe that illegally downloading music from the Internet will cause the loss of jobs in the music industry and production studios will not survive in the future.
Illegal downloading of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from the internet has become a common occurrence nowadays. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it does not affect the artists, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industry.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that artists will not be
financially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by illegal downloads on the Internet since they have multiple sources of income. Although the consumers do not pay for their songs, they can
still
earn their money through advertising and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
videos.

However
, I believe that this will impact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industry
negatively
. Recording
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
needs high production costs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it involves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professionals such as singers and composers. If they do not have abundance compensation due to illegal downloading, they are unable to survive in this competitive market in the long term.

Besides
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this will discourage the musicians who spent hours creating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Therefore
, the musicians will lose power to continue composing wonderful songs.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industry will become a sunset field due to lack of talents.

In conclusion
, I believe that
illegally
downloading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from the Internet will cause the loss of jobs in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industry and production studios will not survive in the future.

IELTS essay Many people illegally download music from the Internet. Is this a good thing or a bad thing for the music industry? (140 - 190 words)

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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