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Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with these views. What other things can people do in order to have satisfying working life? v.2

Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. What other things can people do in order to have satisfying working life? v. 2
It is true that some people know from an early age what career they want to pursue, and they are happy to spend the rest of their lives in the same profession. While I accept that this may suit many people, I believe that others enjoy changing careers or seeking job satisfaction in different ways. On the one hand, having a defined profession can certainly lead to a satisfying work life. Many people decide as young children what they want to do as adults, and it gives them a great sense of satisfaction to act towards their goals and gradually achieve them. For example, many children dream of becoming doctors, but to realise above ambition, they need to gain relevant qualifications and undertake years of training. In my experience, very few people who have qualified as doctors choose to change careers because they find it so rewarding, and because they have invested so much time and effort to reach their goal. On the other hand, people find happiness in their working lives in different ways. Firstly, not everyone dreams of doing a particular job, and it can be equally rewarding to try a variety of professions; starting out on a completely new occupation can be a reinvigorating experience. Secondly, some people see their jobs as simply a means of earning money, and they are happy if their salary is high enough to allow them to enjoy life outside working schedule. Finally, job satisfaction is often the result of working conditions, rather than the career itself. For example, a positive working atmosphere, enthusiastic colleagues, and an inspirational boss can make working life much more satisfying, regardless of the profession. In conclusion, it can certainly be satisfying to pursue a particular career for the whole of one’s life, but this is by no means the only route to fulfillment.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know from an early age what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
they want to pursue, and they are happy to spend the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the same profession. While I accept that this may suit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I believe that others enjoy changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
or seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.

On the one hand, having a defined profession can
certainly
lead to a satisfying work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide as young children what they want to do as adults, and it gives them a great sense of satisfaction to act towards their goals and
gradually
achieve them.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children dream of becoming doctors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
above ambition, they need to gain relevant qualifications and undertake years of training.

In my experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have qualified as doctors choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rewarding, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have invested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much time and effort to reach their goal.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find happiness in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
Firstly
, not everyone dreams of doing a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, and it can be
equally
rewarding to try a variety of professions; starting out on a completely new occupation can be a reinvigorating experience.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
as
simply
a means of earning money, and they are happy if their salary is high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
schedule.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
conditions,
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
itself.
For example
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
atmosphere, enthusiastic colleagues, and an inspirational boss can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
much more satisfying, regardless of the profession.

In conclusion
, it can
certainly
be satisfying to pursue a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
for the whole of one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is by no means the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
route to fulfillment.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. What other things can people do in order to have satisfying working life? v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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