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Many people consider that increasing the age at which people can get driving licenses can improve road safety

Many people consider that increasing the age at which people can get driving licenses can improve road safety Nrw9g
Many people consider that increasing the age at which people can get driving licenses can improve road safety. This might prevent some accidents from happening due to the experience but I strongly believe there is a better way than this. The main point of raising the number of ages at which people can drive is that to reduce the number of car accidents due to inexperience. There are a number of reasons why a 16-year old teenager driving a car can lead to an accident. As we know, teenagers around that age like to test things they haven't experience before. Like driving a car or even smoking and drinking. Some of the teenagers are unaware of the dangers which might happen if they drink and drive at the same time and then some accidents happen. However, these teenagers are really rare and they are really aware of those kinds of danger. I believe these kinds of opinions occur from one or two accidents of this kind and people started thinking that we should increase the legal age for driving cars. It might reduce the accidents but it is still insignificant. There are more factors that lead to accidents more than just inexperience. Like, the rough roads, traffic, and so on. So I believe we should start with improving the public transports to lead to less traffic. In conclusion, I believe it is the poorly built rough roads and traffic and so on are the main factors leading to the accident.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
consider that increasing the
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age
at which
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people
can
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get
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driving
licenses can
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improve
road safety. This might
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prevent
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some
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accidents
from happening due to the experience
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but
I
strongly
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believe
there is a better way than this.

The main point of raising the number of
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ages
at which
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people
can drive is that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
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car
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accidents
due to inexperience. There are a number of reasons why a 16-year
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old
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teenager
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driving
a
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car
can lead to an
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accident
. As we know,
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teenagers
around that
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age
like to
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test
things they haven't experience
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before
. Like
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driving
a
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car
or even smoking and drinking.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
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teenagers
are unaware of the
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dangers
which might happen if they drink and drive at the same time and then
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some
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accidents
happen.

However
, these
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teenagers
are
really
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rare and
they are
really
aware of those kinds of
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danger
. I
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believe
these kinds of opinions occur from one or two
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accidents
of this kind and
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people
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started
thinking that we should increase the legal
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age
for
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driving
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cars
. It might
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reduce
the
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accidents
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but
it is
still
insignificant. There are more factors that lead to
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accidents
more than
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just
inexperience. Like, the rough roads, traffic, and
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so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
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believe
we should
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start
with improving the public transports to lead to less traffic.

In conclusion
, I
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believe
it is the
poorly
built rough roads and traffic and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on are the main factors leading to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
.
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IELTS essay Many people consider that increasing the age at which people can get driving licenses can improve road safety

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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