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Compare the geography of your hometown and Istanbul

Compare the geography of your hometown and Istanbul BJ72m
I'm Iranian and I'm going to compare the earth science of my country and Istanbul, which country that I live in there nowadays. Ira n and Turkey are two close neighbors that have many differences. When people think about Turkey, they just talk about excellent shopping that Istanbul have, and except shopping they look for great food to eat, but Istanbul consist of a very spectacular geography. If I want to Introduce Istanbul I should say: this city includes enormous seas, mountains, hills, amazing islands, historical castle, beautiful bridge that connect the European and Asian parts. In Istanbul, there are lots of crowded streets and many other beauties are included. But If I want to describe Iran, I have to say that: I Lived in a large industrial city which is called Tehran and There is no unique geography, If you travel to Iran, you can see unusual buildings and the black sky which is full of pollution and actually it has destroyed all the geographical and natural beauties of Tehran. There is no sea in Tehran, there are many forests, but most of them have been turned into parks and artificial spaces and they are not natural. There is a large bulky lake in Tehran that can not replace the natural sea. There are many interesting places in Tehran but unfortunately most of them are man made and there is no natural geography in it. If I could choose one of these two countries, Turkey would definitely be my choice and honestly one year ago I chose it to live in and I emigrated from Iran and now I am very satisfy for many reason. For example I enjoy walking along the cobble street of Istanbul in spring because I can see blue sky with beautiful clouds and I can take breathe, on the weekend, I go to suburbs to enjoy spectacular scenery, at nights I interested about walking above the sea because I can watch the most beautiful bridge that I described before, and many reasons more. In conclusion I have to say having a relaxed Life is important for a long life, I want to live in country which has lots of natural geography, How about you?
I'm Iranian and I'm going to compare the earth science of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and Istanbul, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Did you mean "their"?
there
nowadays. Ira

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
n
and Turkey are two close neighbors that have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
differences. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about Turkey, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
talk about excellent shopping that Istanbul have, and except shopping they look for great food to eat,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Istanbul consist of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
spectacular geography.

If I want to Introduce Istanbul I should say: this city includes enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seas
, mountains, hills, amazing islands, historical castle,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
bridge that connect the European and Asian parts. In Istanbul, there are lots of crowded streets and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other beauties
are included
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
If I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
Iran, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
say that: I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Lived
in a large industrial city which
is called
Tehran and There is no unique geography, If you travel to Iran, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
unusual buildings and the black sky which is full of pollution and actually it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
all the geographical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
beauties of Tehran. There is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
in Tehran, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forests,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of them have
been turned
into parks and artificial
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
spaces and
they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
. There is a large bulky lake in Tehran that can not replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
There
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
interesting places in Tehran
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately most of them are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
made and there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
geography in it.

If I could choose one of these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, Turkey would definitely be my choice and
honestly
one year ago I chose it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in and I emigrated from Iran and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfy for
Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: "many reasons".
many reason
.

For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, I".
example I
enjoy walking along the cobble street of Istanbul in spring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
blue sky with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
clouds and I can take breathe, on the weekend, I go to suburbs to enjoy spectacular scenery, at nights I interested about walking above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
bridge that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons more.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
say having a relaxed Life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a long life, I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which has lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
geography, How about you?
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IELTS essay Compare the geography of your hometown and Istanbul

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
370 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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