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Many people change their careers and place of residence several times during their life. Is it a positive or a negative trend?

Many people change their careers and place of residence several times during their life. Is it a positive or a negative trend? 6KAAr
Most of the people prefer or have to move another place for work and live. some people say that it is a positive trend, why they can learn a new culture, interact with lots of people. In my opinion, having said that it has a negative effect on their children. Changing life place is may be beneficial for some people. By this I mean, when people go to another place, they can learn a new culture, language, and they may have new opportunities. A good example of this is can be luxury house in the city center. Admittedly, when people exchange their place, they can face some problems. For example, they do not know well local people, and can be difficult to connect with them. As a result, they cannot join a society and not build some kind of relationship. Successive careers maybe depend on changing workplaces or working another one. In other words, working new place is maybe a chance to rise careers. People can have much work experience when they work with new co-workers and experts and can learn lots of things from them. However, If they do not have enough knowledge, they suffer from work and they can lose their job. A big negative effect seems to children life. Here I am referring to when parents move to different spaces their children have to change school, thus, children separate their friends, and they get used to being alone. Furthermore, children may be cannot adapt new place and do not find new friends. It influences their psychology. To conclude, even though changing people careers and places is can be good for their living conditions and work experience yet it has some affect their children life.
Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
another
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place
for
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work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
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people
say that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend, why they can learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture, interact with lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, having said that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their
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children
. Changing life
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place
is may be beneficial for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. By this I mean, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to another
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place
, they can learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture, language, and they may have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
opportunities. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is can be luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in the city center.
Admittedly
, when
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people
exchange their
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place
, they can face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems.
For example
, they do not know well local
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people
, and can be difficult to connect with them.
As a result
, they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a society and not build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of relationship. Successive careers maybe depend on changing workplaces or working another one.
In other words
, working
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is maybe a chance to rise careers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can have much
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work
experience when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
co-workers and experts and can learn lots of things from them.
However
, If they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge, they suffer from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they can lose their job. A
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big
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect seems to
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children
life. Here I am referring to when parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
spaces their
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children
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have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
school,
thus
,
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children
separate their friends, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to being alone.
Furthermore
,
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children
may be cannot adapt
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and do not find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends. It influences their psychology.
To conclude
,
even though
changing
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people
careers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their living conditions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience
yet
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
life.
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IELTS essay Many people change their careers and place of residence several times during their life. Is it a positive or a negative trend?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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