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Evaluate a Public Place. Suggest How It Could Be Made More Appealing

Evaluate a Public Place. Suggest How It Could Be Made More Appealing yLddr
Public spaces are a neutral place for everyone who visits for many purposes. In particular, recreational activities such as pedestrian roads, parks, and shopping malls help people relax and strengthen their family relationships after a tense week of hard-working and study. March 29th Park in the past, before the year 1945 was a center of a landfill in Da Nang city. After the liberate of Vietnam, a group of young people has launched a campaign to clean this place and started to build a park right in this location, and it is called The Lungs Of Danang. However, air pollution, labor shortages, and parking restrictions are still controversial. The essay below will illustrate opinions of the attractions of this street and suggest things that need improving. First of all, March 29th Park is one of the vast shady streets along the sideway of the lake so it is the ideal place for families to come and play on weekends or holidays. However, despite being so large, the pedestrian street cannot avoid traffic jams on holidays, especially during Tet when the road is almost crowded with people and cars cannot get in and out. That made the air in a place that was supposed to be clean now filled with dust and run out of the parking lot. The solution to this problem is that the government should send the police to regulate the traffic at such times and add directional signs to help people understand at what time and at what density high traffic and find suitable routes to reduce traffic jams. People started to use public transports and taxis to reduce air pollution and they do not worry about parking too. Second, the park is a prominent place but lacks a lot of typical workers such as routine jobs like gardeners there is no one but only two people to do it, who Cleaning is also very small, only about ten people. Still, with an area as large as March 29th Park, it is difficult for the cleaners. In addition, the security here is also very few, only about five people, so the safety here is significantly reduced. The solution to these staff shortage problems is that the government has to hire more new employees and at the same time raise the wages of those who work here because one of the reasons why many people leave jobs is money. The salary is low, but the workload is very high. Make them feel that their selves are not respected at all. In short, March 29th Park is one of the oldest parks in Vietnam. Therefore, the government needs to develop solutions such as adding more police to regulate traffic at peak hours and adding more protection to help ensure safety and property for people. In addition, it is necessary to propagate to people to be more aware of protecting their property and add instructions for people to get out of traffic jams. These things will help Nguyen Hue Street in the eyes of local people and foreigners as an ideal place to hang out and visit.
Public spaces are a neutral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for everyone who visits for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
purposes.
In particular
, recreational activities such as pedestrian roads,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
, and shopping malls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relax and strengthen their family relationships after a tense week of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working and study. March 29th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
in the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the year 1945 was a center of a landfill in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nang
city. After
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'liberate' is correct. If 'liberate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the liberate
of Vietnam, a group of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has launched a campaign to clean this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
right in this location, and it
is called
The Lungs Of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Danang
.
However
, air pollution, labor shortages, and parking restrictions are
still
controversial. The essay below will illustrate opinions of the attractions of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
and suggest things that need improving.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, March 29th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
is one of the vast shady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
along the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sideway
of the lake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is the ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for families to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and play on weekends or holidays.
However
, despite being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
large, the pedestrian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
cannot avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams on holidays,
especially
during Tet when the road is almost crowded with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and cars cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in and out. That made the air in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that
was supposed
to be clean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
filled with dust and run out of the parking lot. The solution to this problem is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the police to regulate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
at such times and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
directional signs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand at what time and at what density high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and find suitable routes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transports and taxis to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pollution and
they do not worry about parking too.

Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
is a prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
typical workers such as routine jobs like gardeners there is no one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do it, who Cleaning is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Still
, with an area as large as March 29th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
, it is difficult for the cleaners.
In addition
, the security here is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the safety here is
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. The solution to these staff shortage problems is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
hire more new employees and at the same time raise the wages of those who work here
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one of the reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
jobs is money. The salary is low,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the workload is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
them feel that their selves are not respected at all.

In short, March 29th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
is one of the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
in Vietnam.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to develop solutions such as adding more police to regulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
at peak hours and adding more protection to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
ensure safety and property for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, it is necessary to propagate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be more aware of protecting their property and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
instructions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams. These things will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
Nguyen Hue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Street
in the eyes of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and foreigners as an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to hang out and visit.
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IELTS essay Evaluate a Public Place. Suggest How It Could Be Made More Appealing

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
517 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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