Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Nowadays, people are arguing about to close zoos around the world. Seems to be not necessary that these places are opened, and we are not sure why we should keep animals locked inside at park just for our fun. There are several international animalist organizations to protect animals. Even, they consider that human should respect the animal’s rights. The animalists say that we are not the most important specie on the Earth. If we based in the number of visitors to zoos, it is possible to understand that today people don´t like to visit these places. Firstly, because animals seem to be punished and sad. This is not the only one reason. For example, it is not normal to find a polar bear in a Brazil. The zoo takes care of emuling and constructing the original bear’s habitat. They usually use a huge pool with icy water, but in no case is same to live in a polar environment, with real temperature. However, in many cases, the zoos are directed by animalist organization, and they believe that theses places are a good choice to protect them. There are cases where the zoos have rescued the last animal of a specific specie. This occured with white rhinoceros, it was saved to extinct. In terms of alternative, the zoos could become places just for protecting animals and not for people’s fun. These institutions should ensure a correct life style for the animals. Thus, zoos could have specific roles for each species. For example, could exist a place just for birds, another one for reptiles, or even, just for feline mammals. In summarize, I believe that zoos - the space that we know - will disappear. Because people are not interested to visit them. However, it´s moment to change this paradigm and change it. We must reformulate this place just for protecting animals.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are arguing about to close zoos around the world. Seems to be not necessary that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are opened
, and we are not sure why we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
locked inside at park
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for our fun.

There are several international
Possible spelling mistake found.
animalist
organizations to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Even, they consider that human should respect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
rights. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
animalists
say that we are not the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
specie on the Earth. If we based in the number of visitors to zoos, it is possible to understand that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either “don’t” or “don’t”.
don´t
like to visit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
seem to
be punished
and sad.

This is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one reason.
For example
, it is not normal to find a polar bear in a Brazil. The zoo takes care of
Possible spelling mistake found.
emuling
and constructing the original bear’s habitat. They
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a huge pool with icy water,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in no case is same to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a polar environment, with real temperature.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, the zoos
are directed
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
animalist
organization, and they believe that
Did you mean “these”?
theses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice to protect them. There are cases where the zoos have rescued the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
of a specific specie. This
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “occurred”, the past tense form of the verb ‘occur’?
occured
with white rhinoceros, it
was saved
to extinct.

In terms of alternative, the zoos could become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and not for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
fun. These institutions should ensure a correct
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
life style
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Thus
, zoos could have specific roles for each species.
For example
, could exist a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for birds, another one for reptiles, or even,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for feline mammals.

In summarize, I believe that zoos
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the space that we know
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
will disappear.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not interested to visit them.
However
,
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either “it’s” or “it’s”.
it´s
moment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this paradigm and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
reformulate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.

IELTS essay Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?