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Many people believe that Zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos brings.

Many people believe that Zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos brings. 268kA
At presence, zoos have become out-dated due to many reasons. Many people argue that zoos should be closed, since there are alternative options available for the animal lovers. If we discuss about the negative impacts of a zoo in an urban area, majority of people believe taking away animals from their natural habitat is a cruel thing. And it may also cause to endanger of extinct of those valuable creatures. Because they may not be able to breed when they are in an artificial environment. And also people do not agree with keeping animals in limited spaces in order to attract viewers and make money. Nevertheless, we have heard lots of news in regards with animals get injured or killed by human errors. Such as wrongfully handling or escaping to the public. Now a days, people are looking for reasons to escape to country side to escape the busy urban life style. So as an alternative option for zoo, government can encourage people to visit wildlife. It is a low maintenance yet save the natural habitat. In some wildlife parks, they have created cages or outdoor tunnels where people can walk through them to see animals. And also there are T. V. channels which telecast 24hours of animal behaviours. To conclude, closing down of zoos will be a great advantage for the animal wellbeing. Zoos are not only way to see animals, as there are other options available such as wildlife parks and live TV channels are available for animal lovers to see animals.
At presence, zoos have become out-dated due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that zoos should
be closed
, since there are alternative options available for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
lovers.

If we
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
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negative
impacts of a zoo in an urban area,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe taking away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from their natural habitat is a cruel thing. And it may
also
cause
Did you mean "endangering"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to endanger
of extinct of those valuable creatures.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they may not be able to breed when they are in an artificial environment. And
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in limited spaces in order to attract viewers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money.
Nevertheless
, we have heard lots of news in regards with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
injured or killed by human errors. Such as
wrongfully
handling or escaping to the public.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are looking for reasons to escape to country side to escape the busy urban life style.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
as an alternative option for zoo,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit wildlife. It is a low maintenance
yet
save the natural habitat. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wildlife parks, they have created cages or outdoor tunnels where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can walk through them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. And
also
there are T. V. channels which telecast 24hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.

To conclude
, closing down of zoos will be a great advantage for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. Zoos are not
Please check whether an article is missing: "a only".
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, as there are other options available such as wildlife parks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
TV channels are available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
lovers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that Zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos brings.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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