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Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have a greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answer.

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have a greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. m1b5A
Parenting is an art which requires many qualities in person. This quality comes by experience in parents. I believe that both mother and father plays equal role in raising children’s life. There is a famous quote that experience makes a person perfect. In addition perfection is first point towards a good parenting. However every person has his own areas of perfection therefore I suggest that Children should be taught by their parents according to their perfection area. Here in this essay I will present my view to support my argument. To begin with, some people say that Mother’s plays important role in teaching children how to respect elders and love younger which is natural quality of a woman. Apart from that children learn to manage home work from mother because mothers are more engaged in these activities. In addition mothers can easily handle a child during health problems compared to father. However, other people say that Father is responsible to teach children how to do hard work, establishing fighting spirit in worst situations. Because father is responsible to work out side and he has more experience in these area which plays significant role in parenting. Apart from father is believed to be strict compared to mother who keeps children in discipline. To sum up, I recommend equal attention from both father and mother towards their children during children’s formative edge. Moreover splitting responsibility gives both parents enough time to teach children. Which give good result in raising children’ life.
Parenting is an art which requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
qualities in person. This quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
by experience in parents. I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
plays equal role in raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
life. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
quote that experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person perfect. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
perfection is
first
point towards a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
parenting.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
every person has his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
areas of perfection
therefore
I suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should
be taught
by their parents according to their perfection area. Here in this essay I will present my view to support my argument.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mother’s
plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to respect elders and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
younger which is natural quality of a woman. Apart from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn to manage home work from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
mothers are more engaged in these activities. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
mothers can
easily
handle a child during health problems compared to father.

However
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Father
is responsible to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, establishing fighting spirit in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the worst".
worst
situations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
is responsible to work out
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
side and
he has more experience in
Did you mean "this area" or "these areas"?
these area
which plays significant role in parenting. Apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
is believed
to be strict compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in discipline.

To sum up, I recommend equal attention from both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
formative edge.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
splitting responsibility gives both parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
result in raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’
life.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have a greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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