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Many people believe that the only way to get a better future for young people today is easrning a university degree. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Many people believe that the only way to get a better future for young people today is easrning a university degree. with this statement? okraV
In this increasingly competitive society especially in the knowledge-based society, having a university degree is more considered to be necessary baggage for a better future for young people. However, some people believe that is the only way to get a better life. Although there are some underlying reasons for this, I am not in favour of the above idea. Earning a university degree is a desirable path and opening many opportunities. First of all, when we apply to university, if we really have the capacity so we will have more chances to find better employment. Because in these days, many recruiters in large corporations usually require their employees have to have a good or even excellent university degree and formal qualifications. Moreover, learning in university is also creates a solid knowledge base that we can have career prospects and apply it to our work effectively, through the practical skills such as interpersonal and teamworking skills, etc. . . Thus, you will have a well-paid job and a professional work environment. However, a university degree is not the only way to get a better future, it is just a factor that creates a chance in life. To begin with, success is not completely depend on academic achievement, it depends on our capacity of people in their future work. In fact, in some fields that happening a situation is when you have a university qualification but are unemployed such as in education, accountant or finance, etc. . . Additionally, instead of having a university degree, college or vocational school or even full-time job also gives us the opportunity a stable life. Life is also a wide university, teaching people many practical issues and skills to tackle it, where they can not learn through theoretical knowledge but through experience. The fact has proved that many people are still successful without having a university degree like Bill Gates- founder of Microsoft, Mark Zuckerberg- founder of Facebook, . . . In conclusion, there are many ways for us to get a better future as mentioned above, and in my point of view, everyone has their own life and have a better life is depend on your wise choice and the right ways you achieve that goal.
In this
increasingly
competitive society
especially
in the knowledge-based society, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is more considered to be necessary baggage for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
that is
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
underlying reasons for this, I am not in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Earning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is a desirable path and opening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when we apply to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, if we
really
have the capacity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we will have more chances to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
employment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
recruiters in large corporations
usually
require their employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or even excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and formal qualifications.
Moreover
, learning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is
also
creates a solid knowledge base that we can have career prospects and apply it to our work
effectively
, through the practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as interpersonal and
Possible spelling mistake found.
teamworking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Thus
, you will have a well-paid job and a professional work environment.

However
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a factor that creates a chance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, success is not completely depend on academic achievement, it depends on our capacity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
work. In fact, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fields that happening a situation is when you have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
qualification
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are unemployed
such as in education, accountant or finance, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Additionally
,
instead
of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, college or vocational school or even full-time job
also
gives us the opportunity a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
is
also
a wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
practical issues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to tackle it, where they can not learn through theoretical knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
through experience. The fact has proved that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
successful without having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
like Bill Gates- founder of Microsoft, Mark Zuckerberg- founder of Facebook
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
as mentioned above, and in my point of view, everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on your wise choice and the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
you achieve that goal.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that the only way to get a better future for young people today is easrning a university degree. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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