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Many people believe that the news media have become influential on people's lives. However, this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that the news media have become influential on people's lives. However, this is a negative development. bbJDW
These days some mainstream media channels focus most of their attention on problems and urgent issues in society rather than on positive news, and this trend is harmful to humans. In my perspective, I partly agree with the idea because I believe that this tendency has both positive and negative effects. On the one hand, the world 4. 0 has even seen the age of technology, as a result the number of people watching news in newspapers or websites online significantly increased. Furthermore, frequency of news stories about terrism and war become so common in the media that many people can hesitate to travel abroad for fear of suffering from terrism attack. Secondly, these news stories created a large array of netizen in society leading to scandals or daily live of famous people be changed. Especially, children can watch things that we should not watch. For instance, there is news of this stimulant being shown on facebook. Since this stimulant is being used, the number of children buying stimulants such as: electronic cigarettes. . grow. On the other hand, besides disadvantages. I believe that news media has positive effects on people. Firstly, news media may carry information to even the most remote places and this can help to bring people together in order to solve serious problems. For example, human can more know information to prevent virus corona from news stories. Secondly, it can help to raise awareness of people. For instance, news about virus corona has become a common topic in media. Therefore, the large number of death people decreased. In conclusion, there are many negative of media on live’s people. However, I still believe that news media has advantages rather than disadvantage.
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mainstream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
channels focus most of their attention on problems and urgent issues in society
rather
than on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, and this trend is harmful to humans. In my perspective, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that this tendency has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

On the one hand, the world 4. 0 has even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the age of technology,
as a result
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in newspapers or websites online
significantly
increased.
Furthermore
, frequency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
stories about
Possible spelling mistake found.
terrism
and war become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can hesitate to travel abroad for fear of suffering from
Possible spelling mistake found.
terrism
attack.
Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
stories created a large array of netizen in society leading to scandals or daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
Especially
, children can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
things that we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
For instance
, there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of this stimulant
being shown
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
. Since this stimulant is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, the number of children buying stimulants such as: electronic cigarettes.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
grow
.

On the other hand
,
besides
disadvantages. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
may carry information to even the most remote places and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together in order to solve serious problems.
For example
, human can more know information to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
virus corona from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
stories.
Secondly
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to raise awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about virus corona has become a common topic in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Therefore
, the large number of death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decreased.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "lives"?
live’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, I
still
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has advantages
rather
than disadvantage.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that the news media have become influential on people's lives. However, this is a negative development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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