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Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced?

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced? LronG
It is true that the violent films have been increasing dramatically in these days. Several person think that which cause to society. in this essay will discussing problems and solutions regarding the effect of violence in society. Too many violent scenes in films will lead undesirable effects to the society. First and foremost, that is the issue of negative impacts on children's mental health. Children who are sensitive and innocent easy be affected by films' contents than other people. They are easy attracted by awesome action scenes including several activities of fighting, catching or even killing people. This will makes children can not distinguish the murderous behaviors in films are wrong.
It is true that the violent films have been increasing
dramatically
in these days. Several person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that which cause to society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "discuss"
discussing
problems and solutions regarding the effect of violence in society.

Too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
violent scenes in films will lead undesirable effects to the society.
First
and foremost,
that is
the issue of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on children's mental health. Children who are sensitive and innocent easy be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by films' contents than other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They are easy attracted by awesome action scenes including several activities of fighting, catching or even killing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
children can not distinguish the murderous behaviors in films are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
111 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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