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Many people believe that social networking sites such as facebook have had huge negative impact on both individually and society. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Many people believe that social networking sites such as facebook have had huge negative impact on both individually and society. v. 1
Undoubtedly, the launch of social media back in 2008, starting with Mark Zucherbarg's invention, has transformed humans' relationships forever. Part of society has highlighted the detrimental effects of these changes caused in the population as individuals and as a whole. From my perspective, the before mentioned notion is completely accord with the present situation. Regarding individual users, the aforesaid digital platforms have increased mental health illness statistics. The numbers are a consequence of an excessive exposure of people's lives and a negative comparison with others. For instance, according to recent research conducted by American Psychology Association, fifty percent of depressive patients of the institute has demonstrated the same side effects because of the use of Globally, Instagram, Twitter, and so on. Therefore, digital content consumers feel frequently judged and unsatisfied with their real lived based on social websites. Furthermore, this new trend has also led to certain empowerment of hate speech. That has been happening because of the possibility of creating communities with random topics, allowing criminals to spread out illegal content and may find someone who agrees with them. To illustrate, Facebook has at least four thousand illegal groups being created daily despite the company's effort to block this initiative. Thus, the fundamental problem is the enhanced of radical movements as a consequence of the facility of finding people with similar beliefs, directly affecting the minority in their fight for equality. To conclude, this essay argued that social media have increased mental health diseases such as depression. Moreover, they have given voice to extremist groups as well. For those reasons, I concur that they were a detrimental development in modern society.
Undoubtedly
, the launch of social media back in 2008, starting with Mark
Zucherbarg
's invention, has transformed humans' relationships forever. Part of society has highlighted the detrimental effects of these
changes
caused in the population as individuals and as a whole. From my perspective, the
before
mentioned notion is completely accord with the present situation.

Regarding individual users, the aforesaid digital platforms have increased mental health illness statistics. The numbers are a consequence of an excessive exposure of
people
's
lives
and a
negative
comparison with others.
For instance
, according to recent research conducted by

American Psychology Association, fifty percent of depressive patients of the institute has demonstrated the same side effects
because
of the
use
of Globally, Instagram, Twitter, and
so
on.
Therefore
, digital content consumers feel
frequently
judged and unsatisfied with their real
lived
based on social websites.

Furthermore
, this new trend has
also
led to certain empowerment of hate speech. That has been happening
because
of the possibility of creating communities with random topics, allowing criminals to spread out illegal content and may find someone who
agrees
with them. To illustrate, Facebook has at least four thousand illegal groups
being created
daily despite the
company
's effort to block this initiative.
Thus
, the fundamental problem is
the enhanced of
radical movements as a consequence of the facility of finding
people
with similar beliefs,
directly
affecting the minority in their fight for equality.

To conclude
, this essay argued that social media have increased mental health diseases such as depression.
Moreover
, they have
given
voice to extremist groups
as well
. For those reasons, I concur that they were a detrimental development in modern society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites such as facebook have had huge negative impact on both individually and society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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