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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v. 126 v.23

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 126 v. 23
Nowadays, the people love to share their moments via their own blogs, that habit will allow them to become more social. However, the social networking sites are very similar to a small version of the societies, and what you did on these website pages may affect you in your real life. From my point of view, keep a connection with the others is very important for a person, because we are a social animal. Once upon the time, when there were no computers and the internet, many people have suffered from social isolation, especially when they are living in a remote area. For example; they had travelled for a very long distance to communicate with the other people, hence, the costs they paid to send a mail, was higher than what they had to pay today. Although, there are too many advantages in using the social networking sites, there are also many risks, such as; leaking personal information, receiving a death threats, becoming a target of hate speeches. For instance; many people think that these social networking sites are free to use, but in fact many of them are not completely free. In addition, many of the social networking sites will exchange their ability to connect people with your own privacy, despite this is illegal. As a result, if the individuals are not careful with these companies, they will be in trouble. In conclusion, even though some people believe that there are many disadvantages in using the social networking sites, but in my opinion, the advantages will overcome the disadvantages. Moreover, the people should learn how to use the social networking sites in a safer way, rather than avoid them.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to share their moments via their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
blogs, that habit will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to become more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
similar to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
version of the societies, and what you did on these website pages may affect you in your real life.

From my point of view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a connection with the others is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
animal. Once upon the time, when there were no computers and the internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have suffered from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
isolation,
especially
when they are living in a remote area.
For example
; they had travelled for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long distance to communicate with the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
hence
, the costs they paid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a mail, was higher than what they had to pay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Although, there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages in using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, such as; leaking personal information, receiving a death threats, becoming a target of hate speeches.
For instance
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in fact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are not completely free.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
will exchange their ability to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
privacy, despite this is illegal.
As a result
, if the individuals are not careful with these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, they will be in trouble.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages in using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, the advantages will overcome the disadvantages.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
in a safer way,
rather
than avoid them.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 126 v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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