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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v.15

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 15
In modern life people use the social networking in daily life. This system has positive aspects and negative effects on people and society. In this essay will take discuss both sides of view, however, the positive impacts seem to outweigh the negative effects. Evidence suggests, social networking such as Facebook develop job opportunity, for example, people can stay home and do some work. The advantages are they earn money and spending more time with family. One of the job develops with social networks is an advertisement. Today, advertisements are important, for example, when one of the celebrities wears a shirt from kind of brand and tell the followers, it’s a high qualify shirt, people believe that and Convinced so they buy this shirt so sales go up. Another reason is linked with other people. They found friends around the world and connect with other foreign people so they learn about cultures and histories. However, the social network has negative aspects. First reason, Some network not suitable for children or young people so some children spend more time on that network and maybe have bad effects on their mind. Parents should Protection of children’s activities. The second reason, some people spend a lot time on social media and forgot family. They believe everything on that and share every moment of their lives. Overall, considering the points discussed above, the social network is a modern tool in daily life and not bad for all people even society but it depends how we use that network.
In modern life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking in daily life. This system has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and society. In this essay will take discuss both sides of view,
however
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts seem to outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

Evidence suggests,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking such as Facebook develop job opportunity,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can stay home and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
work. The advantages are they earn money and spending more time with family. One of the job develops with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
is an advertisement.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, advertisements are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
for example
, when one of the celebrities wears a shirt from kind of brand and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the followers, it’s a high qualify shirt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that and Convinced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
this shirt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sales go up. Another reason
is linked
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They found friends around the world and connect with other foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they learn about cultures and histories.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.
First
reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
not suitable for children or young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children spend more time on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
and maybe have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on their mind. Parents should Protection of children’s activities. The second reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of time"?
a lot time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media and forgot family. They believe everything on that and share every moment of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Overall
, considering the points discussed above, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
is a modern tool in daily life and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
how we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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