Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. J1ge
Nowadays, social networking websites seem to have occupied the biggest part of folks’ lifestyles, posing different threats both individually on humans and collectively on communities. While it is certainly true that such sites predispose to more frequent feelings of depression, I also agree that they can play a vital role of easing communications. On the one hand, social networking web pages may be negatively reflected on humans’ well being. In fact, having registered on popular networks such as Instagram, many individuals acquire addiction to online interactions with other users. Such an addiction is scientifically proven to stem from the release of an addictive hormone named dopamine which is responsible for the feelings of pleasure. Every time a person accumulates “likes”, this hormone makes him feel good. However, should a man not receive enough likes, he might feel hopelessly depressed due to lacking this hormone. As a result, not only does this addiction hinder face to face communications, but also it may negatively impact the wellbeing of a nation as a whole. On the other hand, social sites undoubtedly facilitate social interactions. In other words, being a user of these pages, human beings are able to connect to their friends and family without any distance barriers. They can see what their peers or favourite celebrities are doing just by visiting their feed on Facebook or Instagram. Moreover, the advent of modern technologies, which connect to the internet, has made people more aware of news of all kinds. For example, hardly had news been released than the majority of internet users receive push notifications from their social networks. Therefore, these social pages have made the information exchange easier as it had been never before. The conclusion to be drawn is that the influence of social networks has been largely positive despite some drawbacks caused to peoples’ state of mind. Had the social networking sites not been developed to such an extent, long distance socializing would not have been as smooth as currently
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites seem to have occupied the biggest part of folks’ lifestyles, posing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
threats both
individually
on humans and
collectively
on communities. While it is
certainly
true that such sites predispose to more frequent feelings of depression, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they can play a vital role of easing communications.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking web pages may be
negatively
reflected on humans’
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
. In fact, having registered on popular networks such as Instagram,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals acquire addiction to online interactions with other users. Such an addiction is
scientifically
proven to stem from the release of an addictive hormone named dopamine which is responsible for the feelings of pleasure. Every time a person accumulates “likes”, this hormone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
However
, should a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
not receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
likes, he might feel
hopelessly
depressed due to lacking this hormone.
As a result
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does this addiction hinder face to face communications,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it may
negatively
impact the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of a nation as a whole.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites
undoubtedly
facilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interactions.
In other words
, being a user of these pages, human beings are able to connect to their friends and family without any distance barriers. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what their peers or
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
celebrities are doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by visiting their feed on Facebook or Instagram.
Moreover
, the advent of modern technologies, which connect to the internet, has made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more aware of news of all kinds.
For example
, hardly had news
been released
than the majority of internet users receive push notifications from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
pages have made the information exchange easier as it had been never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

The conclusion to
be drawn
is that the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks has been
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks caused to peoples’ state of mind. Had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites not
been developed
to such an extent, long distance socializing would not have been as smooth as
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
currently

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.