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Many People Believe That Social Networking Sites Have Had a Huge Negative Impact on Individuals and Society What is your opinion? v.1

Many People Believe That Social Networking Sites Have Had a Huge Negative Impact on Individuals and Society What is your opinion? v. 1
Social networking sites have become increasingly popular in the past few years. However, it is argued that these sites have a negative impact on individuals and society. I disagree with the concept because it is nearly impossible to stay disconnected from these sites. However, there should be a limitation regarding the usage of this media. First of all, social networks have enabled to develop a connection among people belonging to different cultures. With only few clicks you are able to get yourself connected with anyone across the globe. For example, being a football fan, I have joined several groups on Facebook and in contact with people from different countries. We interact with each other on a daily basis and I have made some good friends through this. Moreover, we can find our school friends through this medium which is nearly impossible to track in real life. Hence, it is quite obvious that it enables us to develop good connections. On the other hand, there should be a limitation regarding its usage. Excess of everything is bad. Our young generation is getting addicted to social media. Instead of spending time with friends or family, they have indulged themselves to computers and mobile phones. This is not only affecting their relationships, but also their academic performance. According to a recent study, it has been observed that students spending excessive time on social media are performing poorly in their academic results. This is a matter of concern for our society. To conclude, in my opinion social media has benefited a lot, but it has devastating effects on the society that are needed to be addressed. It is expected that users will realize its consequences and limit the usage of these sites.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have become
increasingly
popular in the past few years.
However
, it
is argued
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on individuals and society. I disagree with the concept
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
nearly
impossible to stay disconnected from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
However
, there should be a limitation regarding the usage of
Did you mean "these"?
this
media.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks have enabled to develop a connection among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
belonging to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few clicks you are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
yourself connected with anyone across the globe.
For example
, being a football fan, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
several groups on Facebook and in contact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. We interact with each other on a daily basis and I have made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friends through this.
Moreover
, we can find our school friends through this medium which is
nearly
impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
in real life.
Hence
, it is quite obvious that it enables us to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
connections.

On the other hand
, there should be a limitation regarding its usage. Excess of everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. Our young generation is getting addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.
Instead
of spending time with friends or family, they have indulged themselves to computers and mobile phones. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affecting their relationships,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their academic performance. According to a recent study, it has
been observed
that students spending excessive time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media are performing
poorly
in their academic results. This is a matter of concern for our society.

To conclude
, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media has benefited a lot,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has devastating effects on the society that
are needed
to
be addressed
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that users will realize its consequences and limit the usage of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many People Believe That Social Networking Sites Have Had a Huge Negative Impact on Individuals and Society What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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