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Many people believe that schools should teach children to become good citizens and workers rather than independent individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

Many people believe that schools should teach children to become good citizens and workers rather than independent individuals. Give your opinion and relevant examples. rPqJ
There have been controversial thoughts on whether schoolchildren should be taught at school to become good members of society or rather develop as individuals. However, in my opinion, becoming an individual is more essential for students to learn, although being good in society also tend to be needed globally. Firstly, it takes more time and effort to learn how to think critically and live independently. This can therefore be the reason for the argument as most of the children and teenagers spend approximately one-third of their time attending school. In addition, the society nowadays need the younger generation to grow up as independent and intelligent people who are able to stick to their convictions both economy-wise and education-wise. Therefore, this would well lessen the situations where only humanitarily-educated people with no other important knowledge lead countries, which would be the worst global problem. Finally, people who can think for themselves and come up with relevant decisionsmay be the exact people needed in these times of economic and social turbulence so that the way we live could also improve. I accept that citizens may lose the sense of generosity and integrity in the real day to day life if it is not taught at school. Nevertheless, it would appear that parents themselves could also take the lead by educating their children how to be usefuland qualified when upbringing in order to resist the temptation of this situation. It is logical to conclude that educating the independent generations at school for the betterment of communities and societiesin general tend to be far more advisable and reasonable, in my view, as for their inner personal development their parents should be responsible.
There have been controversial thoughts on whether schoolchildren should
be taught
at
school
to become
good
members of society or
rather
develop as individuals.
However
, in my opinion, becoming an individual is more essential for students to learn, although being
good
in society
also
tend to
be needed
globally.
Firstly
, it takes more time and effort to learn how to
think
critically
and
live
independently
. This can
therefore
be the reason for the argument as most of the children and
teenagers
spend approximately one-third of their time attending
school
.
In addition
, the society nowadays need the younger generation to grow up as independent and intelligent
people
who are able to stick to their convictions both economy-wise and education-wise.
Therefore
, this would well lessen the situations where
only
humanitarily-educated
people
with no other
important
knowledge lead countries, which would be the worst global problem.
Finally
,
people
who can
think
for themselves and
come
up with relevant
decisionsmay
be the exact
people
needed in these times of economic and social turbulence
so
that the way we
live
could
also
improve
. I accept that citizens may lose the sense of generosity and integrity in the real
day to day
life if it is not taught at
school
.
Nevertheless
, it would appear that parents themselves could
also
take the lead by educating their children how to be
usefuland
qualified when upbringing in order to resist the temptation of this situation. It is logical
to conclude
that educating the independent generations at
school
for the betterment of communities and
societiesin
general tend to be far more advisable and reasonable, in my view, as for their inner personal development their parents should be responsible.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that schools should teach children to become good citizens and workers rather than independent individuals. Give your opinion and relevant examples.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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