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People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times

People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times O193
In the past, people lived their lives in the place where they were born, and traveling is not easy. This was mainly due to the nature of their job. However, that is not the case now, people can travel anywhere in the world quickly, and they can choose the place they want to live. This change is inevitable with the increasing globalization and advancement of transportation that made it easy. It has many positive outcomes for the individual and the nation. The two main reasons for this change is in my view, are the economy and lifestyle. Firstly, the economy of a state or a country plays a vital role in the migration of people from one place to another. Cities have created enormous technology and industrial job vacancies, and people find it is the fastest way to earn money and settle in life. For instance, people from the urban area who was doing agriculture started moving to a rural area for industrial jobs. On the other hand, skilled workers or talents worldwide migrate to a top-notch city or any developed counties for better pay. In the last three decades, the vast majority of people migrated for this reason. Secondly, people choose to relocate for their lifestyle, many fascinate about living a city life, and few wanted to lead a peaceful retirement life. For example, many developed nations and companies encourage talents across the globe to relocate and promote immigrants. Some people choose to have their aged life in a place where it is very peaceful. This kind of migration happens across countries. To conclude, migration is not something new in this world, and it continues from the stone age to the internet age for various reasons. Even though there are minimal impacts due to migration, but it has significant improvement in human life. It always helps the community in leading a better and secure life.
In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where they
were born
, and traveling is not easy. This was
mainly
due to the nature of their job.
However
,
that is
not the case
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can travel anywhere in the world
quickly
, and they can choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is inevitable with the increasing globalization and advancement of transportation that made it easy. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes for the individual and the nation. The two main reasons for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is in my view, are the economy and lifestyle.

Firstly
, the economy of a state or a country plays a vital role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another. Cities have created enormous technology and industrial job vacancies, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it is the fastest way to earn money and settle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the urban area who was doing agriculture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
moving to a rural area for industrial jobs.
On the other hand
, skilled workers or talents worldwide migrate to a top-notch city or any developed counties for better pay. In the last three decades, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrated
for this reason
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to relocate for their lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fascinate about living a city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and few wanted to lead a peaceful retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed nations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
encourage talents across the globe to relocate and promote immigrants.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to have their aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
peaceful. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
happens across countries.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
is not something new in this world, and it continues from the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
stone age
to the internet age for various reasons.
Even though
there are minimal impacts due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has significant improvement in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the community in leading a better and secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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