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Many people believe that reading story from book is better than watching tv and playing computer games .

Many people believe that reading story from book is better than watching tv and playing computer games. 7rxL2
Education is an important role in every human life. A plethora of individuals reckons that children should reading books which is extremely helpfull rather than using electronic gudget for reading. There are several reasons why pupils reading from books. The first and foremost are that books provide true knowledge about any topic. Because it written by author. For example, nowadays numerous articles and books contain false data on internet. Furthermore, concentration increases while children reading book. In addition, children can read stories together and discuss with them. Ther are major drawbacks of watching tv and playing computer games. Firstly, somehow pupils might be living sedentary lifestyle, which causes many problem such as weight gain and eyesight problems. Secondly, while watching TV children saw the advertisement about unhealthy habits. Which affects on their characters. They will be consume junk food or unhealthy drink. Finally, most of games are having violence, and playing more and more game they become doing same thing as in game. To conclusion, there are disadvantages of playing game and watching tv. Yet, I convinced that read various stories from book ls are immensely beneficial for children.
Education is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in every human life. A plethora of individuals reckons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "read"
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which is
extremely
Possible spelling mistake found.
helpfull
rather
than using electronic
Possible spelling mistake found.
gudget
for reading.

There are several reasons why pupils reading from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. The
first
and foremost are that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
provide true knowledge about any topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "wrote"?
written
by author.
For example
, nowadays numerous articles and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
contain false data on internet.
Furthermore
, concentration increases while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can read stories together and discuss with them.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Ther are
major drawbacks of watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Firstly
, somehow pupils might be living sedentary lifestyle, which causes
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "many problems".
many problem
such as weight gain and eyesight problems.
Secondly
, while watching TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the advertisement about unhealthy habits. Which affects on their characters. They will be
Consider using the past participle "consumed"?
consume
junk food or unhealthy drink.
Finally
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are having violence, and playing more and more game they become doing same thing as in game.

To conclusion, there are disadvantages of playing game and watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
.
Yet
, I convinced that read various stories from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
ls are
immensely
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that reading story from book is better than watching tv and playing computer games.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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