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many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. others believe the effect of modern music is positive.

It is a common belief that modern music bring a bad affection on young generation. However, there is a more persuasive argument that this music genre create a good emotion and positive in power. I believe that music always brings a new inspiration, an fascinating emotion and a meaningful value in life. On the one hand, modern music can become evil in young eyes. We can see that modern music is covering in the world and it have big affection with new generation. While it is undeniable that this genre is well-known in that time, this genre can negatively affect by the profanity is presented through lyrics. This bad things can alter human from mind to living attitude. Moreover, modern music is able to become addicting. If modern music listen in a long time, it will cause disease about ears and several part others of the body. On the contrary, modern music is easy-going with human. We can see that human will become extremely excited about a catchy tune. Music can uplift energy, decreasingly stress out about working, pressure others in life. In addition, music create connection among human together, it help human easy to share, express a opinion and understand together. According to Kim Innes, a professor of epidemiology at West Virginia University's School of Public Health, she said that" both meditation and potential powerful tools for improving overall health and well-being". Music is crucial in a human life and music is permanent inspiration for composers and audiences. In conclusion, modern music has a important role in life and it really need maintain and develop stronger than in the future. I support the idea that music is so essential and respectful in life, it not only a great melodies but also a special gift from God.
It is a common belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
bring a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
affection on young generation.
However
, there is a more persuasive argument that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
genre create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
emotion and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
in power. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
always brings a new inspiration,
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
fascinating emotion and a meaningful value in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can become evil in young eyes. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is covering in the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “has”.
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
affection with new generation. While it is undeniable that this genre is well-known in that time, this genre can
negatively
affect by the profanity
is presented
through lyrics. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things can alter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
from mind to living attitude.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is able to become addicting. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
listen in a long time, it will cause disease about ears and several part others of the body.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is easy-going with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
will become
extremely
excited about a catchy tune.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can uplift energy,
decreasingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
out about working, pressure others in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
create connection among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
together, it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “helps”.
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
easy to share, express
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
opinion and understand together. According to Kim
Possible spelling mistake found.
Innes
, a professor of epidemiology at West Virginia University's School of Public Health, she said that
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
both meditation and potential powerful tools for improving
overall
health and well-being
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is crucial in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is permanent inspiration for composers and audiences.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
it
really
The verb “maintain” needs to be in the to-infinitive form.
need maintain
and develop stronger than in the future. I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
essential and respectful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The plural noun “melodies” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a great melody” or “great melodies”?
a great melodies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a special gift from God.
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IELTS essay many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. others believe the effect of modern music is positive.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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