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Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young.others believe that the effect of modern music is positive .discuss both views and give your own opinion..

Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. others believe that the effect of modern music is positive. . BxxX
There is no doubt that, these days modern music absolutely hurt the youngsters. However, others believe that the modern music have number of positive effects on different people. I believe that, it has positive impact on everyone’s personality. To commence with, new kind of music has most negative impact on the young generation. Firstly, it effect the thinking ability of people. In recent times, mostly the young people are more impressed by the personality and dressing sense of actress and singers. For example, due to survey of research students in Punjab, they find that 80%young people are imitate to singers to become popular in world. Apart from this, modern music used wide range of tunes which is very harmful for human body and ears. Therefore, the modern music has negative effect on individual. Nonetheless, it has vast positives also. Furthermore, in present times the modern music are more attractive and producers use some melodious tunes to make the song more useful and to gain more publicity. It is not only useful for singers but also helpful for audiences. Moreover, music extremely helpful to reduce the stress and tensions of people. Because people have a busy schedule as well as they have less time to spend with their loved ones. Therefore, music is the best source to reduce the stress level of youngsters. Therefore, music has various positive impacts on the development of people in the country. In conclusion, although modern music hurts young people, it has many positive impacts on teenagers. I believe that music is the only source that is useful to reduce our tensions.
There is no doubt that, these days
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modern
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music
absolutely
hurt the youngsters.
However
, others believe that the
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modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have number of
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positive
effects on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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people
. I believe that, it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on everyone’s personality. To commence with, new kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.
Firstly
, it
Did you mean "effects"?
effect
the thinking ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In recent times,
mostly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more impressed by the personality and dressing sense of actress and singers.
For example
, due to survey of research students in Punjab, they find that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
80%young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are imitate to singers to become popular in world. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
wide range of tunes which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful for human body and ears.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on individual. Nonetheless, it has vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positives
also
.
Furthermore
, in present times the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are more attractive and producers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
melodious tunes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the song more useful and to gain more publicity. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
useful for singers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
helpful for audiences.
Moreover
,
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music
extremely
helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tensions of
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people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a busy schedule
as well
as they have less time to spend with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the best source to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level of youngsters.
Therefore
,
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music
has various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the country.
In conclusion
, although
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modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
hurts
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source
that is
useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our tensions.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. others believe that the effect of modern music is positive. .

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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