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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion 9Rdj
Work hard for touch the zenith of success is quitessential for us. It is often argued that to get a bright future you have to complete our graduation at university. Although other opined that after school we start to doing a job. This both views are elaborated further before arriving my view point. For those who adhere to the format view belive that good and esay path to get a desire career is learning at colleges. It is quite good because its brings some benefits. After completatation of our school curriculum, students are not enough experience to do a job. It is a period when student explore the world and know about different jobs rather than doing some kind of wage. Therefore, if they are forcefully get into this activities then they feel sorrowed and not feel lethargic. On the contrary after finishing their school they join some other outdoor activities to expand thier knowledge about jobs and world as well. However, some people may counter opinion that reciving a job after twelve grade is more vital than others. There are might be some reading behind it. Some people belongs to a very poor families. Thus, finishing their higher education is not possible for many. It is not affordable for them and for their members of families. Moreover, they have to do a job for other people in their home. For instance, in a recent survey of Africa, it has been seeing that because of the poverty in some community students are more like to do jobs after their school life. To reciprocate and offer my opinion, both the side of arguments have their own prosepective but I would love to go for the former one because there is more advantage than others one. Although, others are denied it. But the first one has more benefits.
Work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for touch the zenith of success is
Possible spelling mistake found.
quitessential
for us. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a bright future you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
complete our graduation at university. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
opined that after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This both views
are elaborated
further
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving my view point.

For those who adhere to the format view
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
esay
path to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a desire career is learning at colleges. It is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits. After
Possible spelling mistake found.
completatation
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum, students are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It is a period when student
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "explores".
explore
the world and know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
rather
than doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of wage.
Therefore
, if they are
forcefully
Consider using a past participle here: "got", "gotten".
get
into this activities then they feel sorrowed and not feel lethargic.
On the contrary
after finishing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
outdoor activities to expand
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and world
as well
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may counter opinion that
Possible spelling mistake found.
reciving
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after twelve grade is more vital than others. There are might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reading behind it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
belongs
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "family"?
families
.
Thus
, finishing their higher education is not possible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. It is not affordable for them and for their members of families.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their home.
For instance
, in a recent survey of Africa, it has been seeing that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the poverty in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
community students are more like to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life.

To reciprocate and offer my opinion, both the side of arguments have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
prosepective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to go for the former one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is more advantage than others one.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, others
are denied
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
first
one has more benefits.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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