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Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion:

We are living in an era where music is considered as essential part in order to brighten up one’s moods. While we have various opinions from people of various age groups. Some people believe that modern music has bad impact on our young generation while other people think that modern music has good influence on our future generation. Considering both statements, I would say that modern music has both pros and cons. Let us first look to the positive side of it. Modern Music has good rhythm which is being created by various musical instruement. In 21st century, most of our younger generation has gone through some level of stress and anxiety. Music plays an important role to boost up one’s mood. It helps you to relax after a really bad day. It has a positive impact on our mood. It helps us to be motivated and happy. In contrary, our old generation thinks that modern music has a bad impact on our younger generation. There are many reasons of it, but most importantly, they focus towards lyrics. Modern music usually hip hop and rap has most rough/harsh content in lyrics, which can lead our young generation to the path of violence. Videos of modern music are also not good enough to look and share with others, because of the content. To conclude, I would like to mention that we are living in an era where everything has positive and negative side, it totally depends on us to choose that stuff that can give us maximum advantages and can lead us towards brighter and better future.
We are living in an era where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is considered
as essential part in order to brighten up one’s moods.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
we have various opinions from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of various age groups.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on our young generation while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
influence on our future generation.

Considering both statements, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has both pros and cons.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
first
look to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
rhythm which is
being created
by various musical
Possible spelling mistake found.
instruement
. In 21st century, most of our younger generation has gone through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to boost up one’s mood. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you to relax after a
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
day. It has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on our mood.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
be motivated
and happy.

In contrary, our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on our younger generation. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons of it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most
importantly
, they focus towards lyrics.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
usually
hip hop and rap has most rough/harsh content in lyrics, which can lead our young generation to the path of violence. Videos of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are
also
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to look and share with others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the content.

To conclude
, I would like to mention that we are living in an era where everything has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side, it
totally
depends on us to choose that stuff that can give us maximum advantages and can lead us towards brighter and better future.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion:

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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