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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study is. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The training process in university has important effects on the students and future lives. Some people believe that students should be required to take major courses related to their field of study, other people believe that all university students should be required to take history courses no matter their field of study is. I agree with the first idea because of two reasons which I will explore below. First, taking history courses for all of the university students are just a waste of time. All students when going to university they trying to choose their favorite major and wanting to reach their goals as soon as possible, therefore studying unrelated courses to their major like history courses forces them to spend their time whereas is not necessary for them. For example, one of the most important companies in our city needed some people with special conditions. One of the conditions for that company to be recruited was to graduate within four years. Working for that company is my important goal. But our university required all students to take history courses, because of that I couldn't graduate on time so I lost one of the most important situations in my life. Second, in this day and age of expensiveness, money plays an important role in students' lives. They have many costs like paying for dorms, books, food, and other important things. They have to spend all the cost of these items themselves without the help of the university. Taking extra courses like history courses waste their money because they cannot use unrelated courses in their future job but they are forced to take them to graduate. For example, they should buy history books which may not be useful after graduation. Furthermore, they can save their money for improving their professional skills that are convenient for their future job. In conclusion, all university students should not be required to take history courses, not only will that help to save their time but also it can save their money.
The training process in
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university
has
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important
effects on the
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students
and future
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lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
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students
should be
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required
to take major
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courses
related to their field of study, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that all
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
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required
to take
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history
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courses
no matter their field of study is. I
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agree
with the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
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because
of two reasons which I will explore below.

First
, taking
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history
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courses
for
Consider using “all the”.
all of the
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university
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students
are
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just
a waste of
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time
. All
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students
when going to
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university
A verb seems to be missing. Did you mean “they’re trying”, “they are trying”, or “they were trying”?
they trying
to choose their favorite major and wanting to reach their goals as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible,
therefore
studying unrelated
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courses
to their major like
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history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
forces them to spend their
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time
whereas is not necessary for them.
For example
, one of the most
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important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in our city needed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with special conditions. One of the conditions for that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to
be recruited
was to graduate within four years. Working for that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is my
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important
goal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
our
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university
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required
all
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students
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
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courses
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that I couldn't graduate on
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time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I lost one of the most
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important
situations in my life.

Second, in this day and age of expensiveness,
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money
plays an
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important
role in students'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
costs like paying for dorms, books, food, and other
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important
things. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend all the cost of these items themselves without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
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university
. Taking extra
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courses
like
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history
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courses
waste their
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money
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because
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
unrelated
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courses
in their future job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
are forced
to take them to graduate.
For example
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
books which may not be useful after graduation.
Furthermore
, they can save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for improving their professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that are convenient for their future job.

In conclusion
, all
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study is. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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