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Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree? You should write at least 250 words.

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. j3nX
Appreciate it or not, Celebrities are a part of our daily lives through means of the television, the internet, and other mass media. With the wider popularity garnered by social media, most of the celebrities are receiving an abundance of attention and therefore are branded as ‘influencers’ since they ‘influence’ people or rather their followers, the majority of which happen to be children. The extensive coverage of celebrities by any form of media has created a negative effect on children since celebrities are perceived to be role models and hence I strongly agree on this notion. Recent studies have shown that the cognitive ability of a young mind can be easily diverted through various external factors that influence decision making. Celebrities are generally perceived to be involved in irresponsible behavior such as taking drugs, smoking, drinking alcohol, and other various acts that are not welcomed by society. And the media sheds further light on such irresponsible behavior thereby diverting undue attention towards the particular person. Children believe that these actions are normal and seem to think that they would look ‘cool’ if they replicate the same no matter how harmful it may be to themselves or society. As a result, important matters such as education and family are ignored since the attention of the child is averted towards entertainment. This is a prime example of how the media plays an important role in the negative influence of a young child’s mind. Another key factor is the perception of beauty created by celebrities. Children generally tend to follow the young and the beautiful, thereby appreciating high standards of beauty. They believe that their beloved celebrity is flawless and set out to imitate them and the constant portrayal of the celebrity by a media channel will only make a child more conscious of his or her looks. This directly impacts the confidence of the child and he or she feels that the society or their friends may not accept them for who they are. While coverage is important, media sources should act with responsibility and adhere to a standard on the frequency at which celebrity pertained news is shared. After all, our children are our future, and each individual, be it young or old, plays an integral part in our society.
Appreciate it or not,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
are a part of our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
through means of the television, the internet, and other mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. With the wider popularity garnered by social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are receiving an abundance of attention and
therefore
are branded
as ‘influencers’ since they ‘influence’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or
rather
their followers, the majority of which happen to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The extensive coverage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
by any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has created a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are perceived
to be role models and
hence
I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on this notion.

Recent studies have shown that the cognitive ability of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
mind can be
easily
diverted through various external factors that influence
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
are
generally
perceived to
be involved
in irresponsible behavior such as taking drugs, smoking, drinking alcohol, and other various acts that are not welcomed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
sheds
further
light on such irresponsible behavior thereby diverting undue attention towards the particular person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
believe that these actions are normal and seem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they would look ‘cool’ if they replicate the same no matter how harmful it may be to themselves or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
matters such as education and family are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
since the attention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is averted
towards entertainment. This is a prime example of how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
mind.

Another key factor is the perception of beauty created by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
generally
tend to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, thereby appreciating high standards of beauty. They believe that their beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is flawless and set out to imitate them and the constant portrayal of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
channel will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
more conscious of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
looks. This
directly
impacts the confidence of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
child and
he or she feels that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
or their friends may not accept them for who they are.

While coverage is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
sources should act with responsibility and adhere to a standard on the frequency at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
pertained news
is shared
.
After all
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are our future, and each individual, be it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, plays an integral part in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.

IELTS essay Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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