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Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree? You should write at least 250 words.

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. YAKN
Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having negative impact on children. I feel this is true to same extend since media is constantly covering news which can give them more television rating points. Children are glued to their television sets for long hours and they tend to follow celebrities lifestyles and adopt their culture in many ways. Media can cover celebrities in their worst situations and this can have great impact on children. For example, they may capture any celebrity smoking in their balcony and if the celebrity is very famous among children, they may get associated with smoking habit and may sometimes even try it. Sometimes there are even cases when celebrity attempts sucide and their pictures are all over media. Such things can surely affect young minds since they are not matured enough to control their life. There are times when good deeds such as charity or any kind of donation by celebrity which helps society and people are covered by media for publicity. These things can encourage children to offer help to people who are in need and may even educate others to do so. If media covers such good deeds done by celebrity, parents can even educate children by showing them their good work. Children can get motivated by Speech given by their famous celebrity. There are some advantages which can outweigh disadvantages but this depends on media as well as parents who can shape childrens future and show them the right path. I feel media can never be controlled or stopped from covering what they feel will gain more publicity so this can have negative effect on children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
coverage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
is having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I feel this is true to same extend since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
constantly
covering news which can give them more television rating points.

Children
are glued
to their television sets for long
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hours and
they tend to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
lifestyles and adopt their culture in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
can cover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
in their worst situations and this can have great impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, they may capture any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
smoking in their balcony and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
associated with smoking habit and may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even try it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
there are even cases when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
attempts
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucide
and their pictures are all over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Such things can
surely
affect young minds since they are not matured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to control their life.

There are times when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deeds such as charity or any kind of donation by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are covered
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
for publicity. These things can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to offer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are in need and may even educate others to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
covers such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deeds done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
, parents can even educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by showing them their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated by Speech
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their
Consider using "celebrity".
famous celebrity
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages which can outweigh disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as well
as parents who can shape
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
future and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them the right path. I feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can never
be controlled
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
from covering what they feel will gain more publicity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.

IELTS essay Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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