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The Internet is now used all around the world as a source of information and communication. However, it's often controversial, so many people think it needs to be controlled. Others believe there should be no interference whatsoever. Discuss both points of view, and give your opinion. v.1

The Internet is now used all around the world as a source of information and communication. However, it's often controversial, so many people think it needs to be controlled. Others believe there should be no interference whatsoever. v. 1
We are leaving in the technological world internet in the basic requirements for every business and regular lifestyle. Nowadays, the internet is the basic source of sharing information and communication for everybody. Some people think that internet users have to control, but others think that there should be no interruptions for the internet. So before arriving in my opinion, both sides of the argument will be elaborated further. Focusing on the first view, the internet is the basic needs of everyone. The human basic needs like food, clothes, and shelter like this internet require everywhere, because of the advance technology development rapidly growing in the country. This internet connects people anywhere in the world. For example, the one from the southern part of India wants to talk with relatives who live in North America this can easily possible now in the social media or any other websites. On the flip side, the are some irrefutable measures for the limited use of the internet that is good for everyone. There are some banking websites where people can easily give their personal information, and it can be misusable by some hacking persons. There is some credential information that is also misusable. Moreover, for youngsters, the internet is one of the most entertainment facilities, but sometimes it will the biggest problems especially for girls. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that, the internet always very significant for all the needs of everyone so there is no interference, but everyone can take some precautions for the usage of the internet.
We are leaving in the technological world internet in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
requirements for every business and regular lifestyle. Nowadays, the internet is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
source of sharing information and communication for everybody.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that internet users
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
control,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there should be no interruptions for the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving in my opinion, both sides of the argument will
be elaborated
further
.

Focusing on the
first
view, the internet is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
. The human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
needs like food, clothes, and shelter like this internet require everywhere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advance technology development
rapidly
growing in the country. This internet connects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
anywhere in the world.
For example
, the one from the southern part of India wants to talk with relatives who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in North America this can
easily
possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in the social media or any other websites.

On the flip side,
Did you mean "they are" or "there are"?
the are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
irrefutable measures for the limited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
banking websites where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
give their personal information, and it can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
misusable
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hacking persons. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
credential information
that is
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
misusable
.
Moreover
, for youngsters, the internet is one of the most entertainment facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it will the biggest problems
especially
for girls.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that, the internet always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant for all the needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no interference,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precautions for the usage of the internet.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The Internet is now used all around the world as a source of information and communication. However, it's often controversial, so many people think it needs to be controlled. Others believe there should be no interference whatsoever. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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