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Many people believe that globalisation has had a positive impact on the modern world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that globalisation has had a positive impact on the modern world. 0OVq
There is no doubt that these days the phenomenon of globalization increases communication between people around the world. Some people claim that globalization has had a dramatic positive effect on our life. I am completely agree with this opinion. One impact of globalization is vanishing of some traditional culture which was followed by people blindly. To illustrate, people were trapped in their cultures before having the internet in their homes. For example, Saudi families were deprived from education in the past as a custom that learning only for men and the women responsibilities limited on raising of children, however online learning and scholarship abroad programs have had influenced on Saudi culture, which forced students to live in a vastly different environment from home country, they returned with new ideas as a part of their personality and that lead to cultural changes in Saudi families and now they encourage their daughters’ education. In other words, globalization assist in exploring and exchanging cultures easily which reflect on their behavior and lifestyles. Another great consequence of globalization is the facilitation of cooperation between nations to solve global issues. For instance, the entire world is now working together to find cures for the pandemic COVID-19. Moreover, the World Health Organization (WHO) relies entirely on global data collocation to standardized an international protocols for any disease. These mean, without globalization we will not achieve the health we have today. In conclusion, globalization affect our lives, cultures and health. The scale of the benefits that we gain from globalization is greater than damages, that is why I am totally agree that globalization has had positive effect on the world.
There is no doubt that these days the phenomenon of globalization increases communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that globalization has had a dramatic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on our life. I am completely
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this opinion.

One impact of globalization is vanishing of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which
was followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
blindly
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were trapped
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
having the internet in their homes.
For example
, Saudi families were
The usual collocation for "deprived" is "of" not "". Did you mean "deprived of"?
deprived from
education in the past as a custom that learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and the women responsibilities limited on raising of children,
however
online learning and scholarship abroad programs have had influenced on Saudi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, which forced students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
vastly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environment from home country, they returned with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
as a part of their personality and that lead to cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in Saudi families and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they encourage their daughters’ education.
In other words
, globalization assist in exploring and exchanging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
easily
which reflect on their behavior and lifestyles.

Another great consequence of globalization is the facilitation of cooperation between nations to solve global issues.
For instance
, the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
working together to find cures for the pandemic COVID-19.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Health Organization (WHO) relies
entirely
on global data collocation
Did you mean "to standardize"?
to standardized
an international
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "protocol"?
protocols
for any disease. These mean, without globalization we will not achieve the health we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

In conclusion
, globalization affect our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and health. The scale of the benefits that we gain from globalization is greater than damages,
that is
why I am
totally
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
that globalization has had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.

IELTS essay Many people believe that globalisation has had a positive impact on the modern world.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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