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Many people believe that a country’s wealth is dependant on the health of its citizens. Other people argue that education is a better indicator of a nation’s wealth and well-being. What is your opinion? What are some other factors that contribute to the growth and prosperity of a country?

Many people believe that a country’s wealth is dependant on the health of its citizens. Other people argue that education is a better indicator of a nation’s wealth and well-being. What is your opinion? What are some other factors that contribute to the growth and prosperity of a country? 3aWAl
It has often been said that the wealth of a nation depends on the health of its citizens. In modern society, knowledge and education are also increasingly important factors behind a strong economy. In my opinion, healthcare and education are equally important priorities of a government. Firstly, in order for a country to be economically strong, citizens must have access to good healthcare. If a citizen is unhealthy and weak, it can be assumed that that individual is not contributing his or her potential energy, optimum work abilities and knowledge to his or her community. By providing quality healthcare, a government can ensure that each citizen is as healthy and capable as possible. In this way, both developing and developed countries create stronger individual citizens and, in turn, stronger nations. Good education is equally important in modern societies. In order for a country to advance in any area, its citizens must be educated so that they can actively contribute new ideas to the workforce and to the economy. For example, over the past two decades, advances in technology have helped nations like India and China, among many others, to create strong economies and a better standard of living for many citizens. These advances in technology and the business opportunities created from them are directly attributable to education. Aside from healthcare and education, other factors also contribute to the development of nations. For example, abundant natural resources, positive relationships with other nations leading to trade, efficient metropolitan infrastructures and a strong agricultural sector are all factors which can help nations prosper. However, I still believe that healthcare and education are the two most important priorities of any government, because if the healthcare and education systems of a nation are effective, then all other areas of an economy are positively affected. In conclusion, in my opinion, quality healthcare and education systems are equally important to the development of a strong nation.
It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
been said
that the wealth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
depends on the health of its citizens.

In modern society, knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are
also
increasingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors

behind a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. In my opinion, healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are
equally


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
priorities of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Firstly
, in order for a country to be
economically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have access to

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
healthcare. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
is unhealthy and weak, it can
be assumed
that that

individual is not contributing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
potential energy, optimum work abilities and

knowledge to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
community. By providing quality healthcare, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government


can ensure that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
is as healthy and capable as possible. In this way, both

developing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
create stronger individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
and, in turn,

stronger nations.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in modern societies. In order for a country to

advance in any area, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
actively
contribute

new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to the workforce and to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
For example
, over the past two

decades, advances in technology have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
like India and China, among

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others, to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economies
and a better standard of living for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many


citizens. These advances in technology and the business opportunities created from

them are
directly
attributable to education.

Aside from healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, other factors
also
contribute to the development

of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
For example
, abundant natural resources,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
relationships with

other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
leading to trade, efficient metropolitan infrastructures and a strong

agricultural sector are all factors which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
prosper.
However
, I
still


believe that healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are the two most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
priorities of any

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if the healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
systems of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
are effective,

then all other areas of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
are
positively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, quality healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
systems are
equally


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that a country’s wealth is dependant on the health of its citizens. Other people argue that education is a better indicator of a nation’s wealth and well-being. What is your opinion? What are some other factors that contribute to the growth and prosperity of a country?

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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