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Many people are doing their shopping on the internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of shopping online. v.1

Many people are doing their shopping on the internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of shopping online. v. 1
With each day, e-commerce is getting more accessible and gaining popularity. We can buy anything from anywhere across the world by clicking on only one button. It also helps us save time and money. Although several drawbacks are also linked with this phenomenon, which mainly includes the security risk, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages in detail, in the upcoming paragraphs. Online shopping is gaining popularity as women who are known to be keen on shopping can surf the internet, to place an order for online shopping. The main benefit of is that it can save both time and money for the buyer. For example, women can choose the products of their own choice, quality and price, which is mentioned on the products. Furthermore, they can also inquire about the products, from a customer who already bought this. Secondly, it can help the country, to increase business and to decrease inflation across the country. Thus, shopkeepers can use different ways or ideas to improve their business. However, we cannot ignore the drawbacks of online shopping. The security risk is one of them. Sharing information, during online shopping, can be used by hackers. Other, demerits include low-quality products. Let's take the example of clothes, girls when buying clothes, through online shoping, often feel disappointed when they see the original product and their stuff as it turns out to be different from the image. To conclude, the advantages of online shopping outweigh the disadvantages. Of course, shoppers have to exercise some common sense and keep their device free of malware if they want to enjoy online shopping.
With each day, e-commerce is getting more accessible and gaining popularity. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything from anywhere across the world by clicking on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one button. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us save time and money. Although several drawbacks are
also
linked with this phenomenon, which
mainly
includes the security
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages in detail, in the upcoming paragraphs.

Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is gaining popularity as women who
are known
to be keen on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can surf the internet, to place an order for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. The main benefit of is that it can save both time and money for the buyer.
For example
, women can choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice, quality and price, which
is mentioned
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Furthermore
, they can
also
inquire about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, from a customer who already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
this.
Secondly
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the country, to increase business and to decrease inflation across the country.
Thus
, shopkeepers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their business.

However
, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. The security
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
is one of them. Sharing information, during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by hackers. Other, demerits include low-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's take the example of clothes, girls when buying clothes, through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoping
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel disappointed when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and their stuff as it turns out to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the image.

To conclude
, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
outweigh the disadvantages.
Of course
, shoppers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
common sense and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their device free of malware if they want to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Many people are doing their shopping on the internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of shopping online. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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