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Many people are afraid to live there home because of crime. Some believe that more action can be taken to prevent crime while others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many people are afraid to live there home because of crime. Some believe that more action can be taken to prevent crime while others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. k7mR
More individuals feel scary while staying indoors these days due to rapidly increasing rates of crimes. In order to tackle with this situation, a few people think that more efforts can be employed to to nip the crime in the bud whereas others have belief that it needs minimum endeavours to avert unlawful acts. This essay shall delve to find about both the phenomena along with my opinion suggesting that it needs less attention but in an improved manner. In the first phenomenon, individuals suggest to increase the surveillance by the police personnel. It will help them to check the possibilities of the offence and will also have a deterrent effect on the criminals. Like, for instance, the authorities need to escalate their rounds during the peak hours of commission of these illegal activities. In this way, more and more vigilant rounds will help in reducing crime rates. Whereas, in the second phenomenon individuals recommend only to make citizens aware about the methods and techniques used in this mishappenings. This will make the people eveready to deal with the these types of situations along with the reduced burden on the shoulders of the enforcement department. For illustration, awareness campaigns will help the people of society to be more cautious and active so as to eradicate this evil. The other category of the society believes that only a slight improvement in a way to deal with crimes will reduce the chance of occurrence. I opined that the policies adopted by the authorised personnel needs to be restructured and people should be made aware attentive and capable enough to deal with such offences wisely and judiciously. At the outset I can conclude that slight adjustments need to be employed in order to achieve better results.
More individuals feel scary while staying indoors these days due to
rapidly
increasing rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. In order to tackle with this situation, a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that more efforts can
be employed
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
nip the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the bud whereas others have belief that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
minimum
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavours' is British English.
endeavours
to avert unlawful acts. This essay shall delve to find about both the phenomena along with my opinion suggesting that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
less attention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
manner.

In the
first
phenomenon, individuals
The verb 'suggest' is used with the gerund form: "suggest increasing".
suggest to increase
the surveillance by the police personnel. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the possibilities of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
and will
also
have a deterrent effect on the criminals. Like,
for instance
, the authorities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to escalate their rounds during the peak hours of commission of these illegal activities. In this way, more and more vigilant rounds will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.

Whereas, in the second phenomenon individuals recommend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
citizens aware about the methods and techniques
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in this
Possible spelling mistake found.
mishappenings
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
eveready
to deal with the these types of situations along with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
burden on the shoulders of the enforcement department. For illustration, awareness campaigns will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of society to be more cautious and active
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
eradicate this evil. The other category of the society believes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a slight improvement in a way to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the chance of occurrence.

I opined that the policies adopted by the
Possible spelling mistake. 'authorised' is British English.
authorised
personnel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be restructured
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be made
aware attentive and capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to deal with such
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
wisely
and
judiciously
.

At the outset I can conclude that slight adjustments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be employed
in order to achieve better results.
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IELTS essay Many people are afraid to live there home because of crime. Some believe that more action can be taken to prevent crime while others feel that little action can be done to stop crime.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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