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Many parents today employ private tutors to teach their children school hours. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many parents today employ private tutors to teach their children school hours. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? e5OEK
As numerous experts in several fields are emerging, today's some parents are in favour of recruiting private professionals to educate and boost their children's knowledge. In my perspective, I deem it beneficial and believe that it can generate positive improvements such as a profound experience and deep education. However, there can be some detrimental outcomes as well, which this essay will highlight. It goes without saying that employing private teachers permit the youth to pursue more education in terms of all spheres such as biology, chemistry or physics. To be precise, children can study even the minuscule details of the certain theme. To exemplify, a 15-year-old child might either know how atom affects the surrounding atmosphere of animals or explore the exact locations of fallen comets. Hence, in the future, those individuals will possess competent aptitudes and have boosted applications. Similarly, any employee is able to employ those candidates and even promote to the highest rank. By stark contrast, however, recruited teachers mean an individual study of a pupil. I suppose it can provoke some mental disorders of a young child. Firstly, as a shock of having no group mate terrifies the child, he or she might easily get bored or relaxed. As a result, their brains do not receive any new information. In addition, while studying alone, there tend to be strict punishments rather than pragmatic methods of detention like comparing people which current public schools utilize. Thus, those children might be under the stringent pressure, which, admittedly, stems a fear of education. Consequently, they can be fed up with studying alone. In conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that even though an individual study has some advantageous results such as obtaining a professional skill, children might be more likely to develop some psychological sicknesses. Thus, not only should people take both effects into account, but also they should tend to face their consequences.
As numerous experts in several fields are emerging,
today
's
some
parents are in
favour
of recruiting private professionals to educate and boost their children's knowledge. In my perspective, I deem it beneficial and believe that it can generate
positive
improvements such as a profound experience and deep education.
However
, there can be
some
detrimental outcomes
as well
, which this essay will highlight.

It goes without saying that employing private teachers permit the youth to pursue more education in terms of all spheres such as biology, chemistry or physics. To be precise, children can study even the minuscule
details
of the certain theme. To exemplify, a 15-year-
old
child
might
either know how atom affects the surrounding atmosphere of animals or explore the exact locations of fallen comets.
Hence
, in the future, those individuals will possess competent aptitudes and have boosted applications.
Similarly
, any employee is able to employ those candidates and even promote to the highest rank.

By stark contrast,
however
, recruited teachers mean an individual study of a pupil. I suppose it can provoke
some
mental disorders of a young child.
Firstly
, as a shock of having no group mate terrifies the child, he or she
might
easily
get
bored or relaxed.
As a result
, their brains do not receive any new information.
In addition
, while studying alone, there tend to be strict punishments
rather
than pragmatic methods of detention like comparing
people
which
current
public schools utilize.
Thus
, those children
might
be under the stringent pressure, which,
admittedly
, stems a fear of education.
Consequently
, they can
be fed
up with studying alone.

In conclusion
, I once again reaffirm my position that
even though
an individual study has
some
advantageous results such as obtaining a professional
skill
, children
might
be more likely to develop
some
psychological sicknesses.
Thus
, not
only
should
people
take both effects into account,
but
also
they should tend to face their consequences.
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IELTS essay Many parents today employ private tutors to teach their children school hours. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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