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Nowadays children spend more time playing computer games than doing sports. Why is it happening? Does it have a positive or negative effect on their development?

It is commonly seen that children love to spend their leisure time playing games on a computer instead of physical games. This essay will suggest that the addictiveness of computer games encourages children to play more video games and I believe that this is a negative development due to the health concerns associated with spending too much time on electronic games. The main reason why children play digital games is that these games are built in such a way so that youngsters become addicted to playing them. Due to this, they spend enormous time in front of the screen. Moreover, playing these games does not require any sort of physical effort. Therefore, children spend more time playing electronic games. To illustrate, during the official launch of the Red Dead Redemption Game, the managing director of the company admitted that games are built to indulge young ones so that they spend more time playing their company’s games. I believe that playing electronic games extensively is a negative development because there are numerous health concerns associated with playing computer games. Young people stare at screens for hours while they are playing games which weakens their eyesight and it also results in obesity-related diseases such as bad cholesterol. These diseases are difficult to cure when they become an adult. For example, a recent study by Cambridge University found that young ones who played computer games were more likely to have health issues in their life as compared to who did not. In conclusion, electronic games are addictive and therefore, children spend more time to playing them. I think playing computer games do not have any positive impact because of health issues.
It is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
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spend
their leisure
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time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on a computer
instead
of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay will suggest that the addictiveness of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to play more video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and I believe that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
concerns associated with spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
games.

The main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are built
in such a way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that youngsters become addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
them. Due to this, they
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spend
enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the screen.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
does not require any sort of physical effort.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. To illustrate, during the official launch of the Red Dead Redemption Game, the managing director of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
admitted that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are built
to indulge young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s games.

I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
extensively
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
concerns associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
stare at screens for hours while they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which weakens their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
eyesight and
it
also
results in obesity-related diseases such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
cholesterol. These diseases are difficult to cure when they become an adult.
For example
, a recent study by Cambridge University found that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who played computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were more likely to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues in their life as compared to who did not.

In conclusion
,
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electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are addictive and
therefore
,
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
them. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
do not have any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.
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IELTS essay Nowadays children spend more time playing computer games than doing sports. Why is it happening? Does it have a positive or negative effect on their development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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