Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In this modern world, I think the meaning of success of people is totally changed as compared to 10 years back. Previously, the human is successful if they are able to feed properly and take care of family while staying with them. However, in present everyone looking for luxury lifestyle and they moving towards western culture, for that, I guess people has to come out of their comfort zone. As a result, some thought of leaving home is better than staying at home and vice versa. Personally, I think its better to not sit in the house rather go and explore the world in your way. I will prove my point of view further. On the one hand, some individuals are preferred to live in an extended family. In this reason, parents are not encouraged to stay separately. Moreover, living under one roof may offer the greatest number of opportunities and chances. For the instance, If their parents already doing big business they just want to join the same business and increase turnover. On the other hand, few parents want they will exploring different places, interact with other culture people. In addition to this, they do something unique on this own which is the main cause of encouraging them to not be in a house with them. For example, if scientists stay at labs and interact with different kind of mankind and try to understand their problems which force them to give solutions for them like mobile phones, Buses, and Cars etc. To conclude, although many parents motivate their children to live together which offer various kinds of opportunities. However, in my opinion, to make this world more innovative and advance people was to come out of their comfort zone and create something new which make earth easier to live for the next generation.
In this modern world, I
think
the meaning of success of
people
is
totally
changed
as compared to 10 years back. Previously, the human is successful if they are able to feed
properly
and take care of family while staying with them.
However
, in present everyone looking for luxury lifestyle and
they moving
towards western culture, for that, I guess
people
has
to
come
out of their comfort zone.
As a result
,
some
thought
of leaving home is better than staying at home and vice versa.
Personally
, I
think
its
better to not sit in the
house
rather
go and explore the world in your way. I will prove my point of view
further
.

On the one hand,
some
individuals
are preferred
to
live
in an extended family. In this reason,
parents
are not encouraged to stay
separately
.
Moreover
, living under one roof may offer the greatest number of opportunities and chances. For the instance, If their
parents
already doing
big
business they
just
want to
join
the same business and increase turnover.

On the other hand
, few
parents
want they will
exploring
different
places, interact with other culture
people
.
In addition
to this, they do something unique on this
own
which is the main cause of encouraging them to not be in a
house
with them.
For example
, if scientists stay at labs and interact with
different
kind of mankind and try to understand their problems which force them to give solutions for them like mobile phones, Buses, and Cars etc.

To conclude
, although
many
parents
motivate their children to
live
together which offer various kinds of opportunities.
However
, in my opinion, to
make
this world more innovative and advance
people
was to
come
out of their comfort zone and create something new which
make
earth easier to
live
for the
next
generation.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts