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Many parents complain about violence promoted to their children through video games, TV programs and other media. Why is it happening? What can be the solution for it? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

Many parents complain about violence promoted to their children through video games, TV programs and other media. Why is it happening? What can be the solution for it? Give your opinion and include relevant examples. QLVeb
According to most cases that children’s behavior becomes negative because they are exposed to technologies like video games, television, and social media. It makes many parents feel worried about their children and they try to keep away their children from the technologies. Yet, other facts said children who play video games can be a professional player in a prestigious championship. In my view, if we can see from the positive side, through technologies we can take a benefit for our children. As long as parents take control how the way children using technology wisely, negative impacts can be avoided. Nowadays, professional gamers have been increasing even they join in an international championship around the world. Children are not only playing a game for fun but also most of them want to become an international professional player. To become a professional there is a coach who will teach children about strategy, agility, timing and consistency. One of the effort is by preparing them to compete many opponents from different countries. Moreover, being a representative in an international moment can be such an honor and motivation for them. On the other hand, currently various TV programs are indeed risky for children to watch. Yet, technology is thriving in this era which means there are many ways for parents to control what programs they can permit. Parents should give socialization to children about kind of TV shows they can watch based on children’s age. It can be an effective way to make children understand why they are prohibited to watch it. The reason is becasue the important key to make them know the reason behind the prohibited rule from their parents. Finally, as parents live in this evolving era with high technology, they cannot avoid it and they should keep up with the update. Parents should adapt to technological development, so they will know how to use it effectively for their children. If parents understand well using the technologies, they can help their children to become a professional game player. They can be a representative in an international championship and get money as a reward.
According to most cases that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
behavior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
like video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, television, and social media. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel worried about their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
Yet
, other facts said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who play video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
player in a prestigious championship. In my view, if we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
we can take a benefit for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take control how the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
wisely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts can
be avoided
.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
gamers have been increasing even they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
championship around the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
playing a game for fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
most of them want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
player. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
there is a coach who will teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about strategy, agility, timing and consistency. One of the effort is by preparing them to compete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opponents from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.
Moreover
, being a representative in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
moment can be such an honor and motivation for them.

On the other hand
,
currently
various TV programs are
indeed
risky for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
Yet
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is thriving in this era which means there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to control what programs they can permit.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should give socialization to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about kind of TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
age. It can be an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
understand why they
are prohibited
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it. The reason is
Possible spelling mistake found.
becasue
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
key to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them know the reason behind the prohibited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
from their parents.

Finally
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this evolving era with high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, they cannot avoid
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the update.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should adapt to technological development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
effectively
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
understand well using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
game player. They can be a representative in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
championship and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money as a reward.
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IELTS essay Many parents complain about violence promoted to their children through video games, TV programs and other media. Why is it happening? What can be the solution for it? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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