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Many parents are unhappy with the amount of violence In video games , t.v programs and other leisure activities . How harmful could this be to children be? What could be done to solve it ?

Many parents are unhappy with the amount of violence In video games, t. v programs and other leisure activities. How harmful could this be to children be? What could be done to solve it? WWKN
Undoubtedly, guardians are worried about their words due to some things such as violence in video games, T. V. programs and other spare activities. Personally, I corroborate that it put detrimental effect on children which can be curbed by taking some steps. To embark on, there are myriad of reasons to shore light upon given proclivity. Discussing the first point, the most intinsic one is that accept violence. To illustrates, kids watch the plethora of T. V program which put harmful impact on the juvenile like crime patrol and other because with the help of these programs children learn various things related to crime after that kids indulge into crime.
Undoubtedly
, guardians
are worried
about their words due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things such as violence in video games, T. V. programs and other spare activities.
Personally
, I corroborate that it put detrimental effect on children which can
be curbed
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps.

To embark on, there are myriad of reasons to shore light upon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
proclivity. Discussing the
first
point, the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
intinsic
one is that accept violence. To illustrates, kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the plethora of T. V program which put harmful impact on the juvenile like crime patrol and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these programs children learn various things related to crime after that kids indulge into crime.

IELTS essay Many parents are unhappy with the amount of violence In video games, t. v programs and other leisure activities. How harmful could this be to children be? What could be done to solve it?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
110 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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