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Many office authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public spaces. This is good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. What are your opinion on this?

Many office authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public spaces. This is good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. What are your opinion on this? pm33
Numerous office authorities prohibited their employees to smoke within the office premises. Smoking is also not permitted by the government in all public places. It is an ethical idea but sadly it withdraw some of their freedom. This essay will provide my personal opinion on this topic as well as evidences of why I think this is such a good idea. As we know, several countries especially the developed one-like Singapore-have a law that stated their country prohibits people to smoke in public facilities. If they disobey it, they have to go to the court and liable to a composition sum up to $1000. Additionally, some company requires their employees to not smoke in the building. In order to not taking away people’s freedom, active smoker can smoke in open areas like parking lot or a smoking area. Now let us imagine if this rule does not exist, the non smoker will suffer from several inconvenient such as breathing difficulties, respiratory failure, an oxygen block, etc. It can be extremely harmful especially for pregnant women, children, babies and elders to inhale smoke and become a passive smoker. Research shows that passive smokers have more respiratory issues compared to the active smokers. Based upon the analysis above, although it is difficult for countries to banned people from smoking, I do believe that they should, because it shown more advantages than disadvantages. As long as they provide smoking areas and punish the one that disobey the law strictly, it is not taking away active smoker’s freedom but instead making non smoker have a freedom too.
Numerous office authorities prohibited their employees to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
within the office premises.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
is
also
not permitted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in all public places. It is an ethical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
sadly
it
Did you mean "withdraws"?
withdraw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
. This essay will provide my personal opinion on this topic
as well
as evidences of why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

As we know, several countries
especially
the developed one-like Singapore-have a law that stated their country prohibits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
in public facilities. If they disobey it, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the court and liable to a composition sum up to $1000.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
requires their employees to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
in the building. In order to not taking away
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
, active smoker can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
in open areas like parking lot or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
area.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us imagine if this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
does not exist, the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
non smoker
will suffer from several inconvenient such as breathing difficulties, respiratory failure, an oxygen block, etc. It can be
extremely
harmful
especially
for pregnant women, children, babies and elders to inhale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
and become a passive smoker. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that passive smokers have more respiratory issues compared to the active smokers.

Based upon the analysis above, although it is difficult for countries to banned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, I do believe that they should,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it shown more advantages than disadvantages. As long as they provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
areas and punish the one that disobey the law
strictly
, it is not taking away active smoker’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
making
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
non smoker
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
too.

IELTS essay Many office authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public spaces. This is good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. What are your opinion on this?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
263 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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