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Many museums charge for the entries while others are free ?do you think the advantages of charging people for admission for museum outweigh disadvantages

Many museums charge for the entries while others are free? do you think the advantages of charging people for admission for museum outweigh disadvantages QjMP
Museum are of immense importance to any society as they carry its arts, culture and heritage. Introduction of an entrance fees by the museum will definitely discourage the flow of only those people who are there just for fun, additionally the income generated could be used for museum's overhead expenses and maintenance. Hence, I believe that the benefit of charging an entry ticket outweighs its costs. The main objective of museum is to provide knowledge to people about history of that particular area. Thus, if the entry to museum is not free, it would obstruct people from visiting them, as a result only those with particular interest in art and culture could be seen in the museum. This would merely mean that there would be no more dwellers roaming here and there, making the museum's environment more comfortable for those who have been there for educational purpose. Furthermore, the revenue collected via museum entry ticket would be in addition to the museum fund, hence, it could be utilized in renovating the museum and bearing any sunk cost that is incurred. Such upgradation of museum infrastructure and preservation of the heritage sites along it would motivate more people to buy ticket and visit the museum, making it a tourist attraction. Museum can also use its money to purchase some modern devices, take Pakistan Air Force museum for example, they have installed simulators of their F-16 aircraft, which has grabbed attention of numerous youngsters who persuade their parents to visit museum more often. These sort of efforts would accelerate traffic into the museum. Therefore, charging people for entry would bring about only benefits to the museum, that are curtailing unnecessary visitors and utilizing incremental revenue to attract more people.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
are of immense importance to any society as they carry its arts, culture and heritage. Introduction of an entrance fees by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
will definitely discourage the flow of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for fun,
additionally
the income generated could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for museum's overhead expenses and maintenance.
Hence
, I believe that the benefit of charging an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
ticket outweighs its costs.

The main objective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is to provide knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about history of that particular area.
Thus
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is not free, it would obstruct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from visiting them,
as a result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those with particular interest in art and culture could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. This would
merely
mean that there would be no more dwellers roaming here and there, making the museum's environment more comfortable for those who have been there for educational purpose.

Furthermore
, the revenue collected via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
ticket would be
in addition
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
fund,
hence
, it could
be utilized
in renovating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and bearing any sunk cost that
is incurred
. Such
Possible spelling mistake found.
upgradation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
infrastructure and preservation of the heritage sites along it would motivate more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
ticket and visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, making it a tourist attraction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
its money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
modern devices, take Pakistan Air Force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
for example
, they have installed simulators of their F-16 aircraft, which has grabbed attention of numerous youngsters who persuade their parents to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
Did you mean "this sort" or "These sorts"?
These sort
of efforts would accelerate traffic into the museum.

Therefore
, charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
would bring about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, that are curtailing unnecessary visitors and utilizing incremental revenue to attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Many museums charge for the entries while others are free? do you think the advantages of charging people for admission for museum outweigh disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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