Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 145 v.35

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 145 v. 35
It is widely thought that people have to pay a charge to enter into many museums. While, in others the admission pay is not necessary. I believe that even fees for museum entrances could bring some disadvantages, overall they benefit in several aspects. Imposing an entrance fee to visitors has generally positive effects on museums. It is explained by the fact that maintenance and some improvements can be done by gathering money that can be used properly. Moreover, those installations that have high-cost tickets are used to be cleaner and provide visitors with modern facilities than the ones with free access. For instance, many reports illustrate that most of the charged museums in Lima are well-conserved offering a better experience. Nevertheless, there are some disadvantages that come when museum entrances have a cost. One important thing is that only a few people decide to pay for it and they just focus on other attractions. Since no everyone is able to spend a lot of money. This means that museums can be affected by not having visitors as expected. Taking Peru as an example, a recent survey demonstrates that Peruvian museums have a much larger quantity of guests when they are for free. In conclusion, whereas charging people for admission to museums can offer several benefits through improving installations, it can also reduce the number of visitors who want to go without being charged a fee. In my opinion, despite having some negative impacts, I strongly believe that the admission payment to museum outweighs the disadvantages.
It is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay a charge to enter into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, in others the admission pay is not necessary. I believe that even fees for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
entrances could bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages,
overall
they benefit in several aspects.

Imposing an entrance fee to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
has
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that maintenance and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
improvements can
be done
by gathering money that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
properly
.
Moreover
, those installations that have high-cost tickets are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be cleaner and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
with modern facilities than the ones with free access.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reports illustrate that most of the charged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in Lima are well-conserved offering a better experience.

Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
entrances have a cost. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decide to pay for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on other attractions.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
no everyone is able to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by not having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. Taking Peru as an example, a recent survey demonstrates that Peruvian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have a much larger quantity of guests when they are for free.

In conclusion
, whereas charging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
can offer several benefits through improving installations, it can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
who want to go without
being charged
a fee. In my opinion, despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts, I
strongly
believe that the admission payment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
outweighs the disadvantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 145 v. 35

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts