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Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugar, which have bad effects on health. The price should be increased to decrease its uses. Do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugar, which have bad effects on health. The price should be increased to decrease its uses. D6gMp
An erray of citizens believe that the overconsumption of sugar obtain eatables is unhealthy and the prices should incline to handle with this issue. As per my perspective, it has both negative and positive effects in the community, which has to be seen to make a decision. I would discuss either in the forthcoming passages. To begin with its benefits, it is well said that excess of everything is bad, the high sugar based provenders have deterimental effects on wellness. To elaborate it, the diabetes and obesity are main root obstacles, here. Moving further, this solution can be beneficial in human life as the huge taxes will decline its consumption, to cite a relevant example, highest rates of cigrates in multivarious nations has prove to slow down its addiction among masses. On the other hand, under the roots of merits it also has short numbers of demerits, to put forward my view, I like to assert that the another consequences of this remedi can not be neglected. By throwing light upon this argument, it will not affect the mankind steady, it will only observe in members of society, who below to poverty line, the wealthy will not effected by it, they can balance the expenses as according to need. However, it will deeply influence the trade of import and export as well as fast food owners, respectively, which directly downhill the economy of one region. Hammering on the last nail, it is not an ideal solution to whole individuals, the eductional campaigns must ubiquitous among multitudes to overoot this problem.
An
erray
of citizens believe that the overconsumption of sugar obtain eatables is unhealthy and the prices should incline to handle with this issue. As per my perspective, it has both
negative
and
positive
effects in the community, which
has to
be
seen
to
make
a decision. I would discuss either in the forthcoming passages. To
begin
with its benefits, it is well said that excess of everything is
bad
, the high sugar based
provenders
have
deterimental
effects on wellness. To elaborate it, the diabetes and obesity are main root obstacles, here. Moving
further
, this solution can be beneficial in human life as the huge taxes will decline its consumption, to cite a relevant example,
highest
rates of
cigrates
in
multivarious
nations has
prove
to slow down its addiction among masses.
On the other hand
, under the roots of merits it
also
has short numbers of demerits, to put forward my view, I like to assert that the another consequences of this
remedi
can not
be neglected
. By throwing light upon this argument, it will not affect the mankind steady, it will
only
observe in members of society, who below to poverty line, the wealthy will not
effected
by it, they can balance the expenses as according to need.
However
, it will
deeply
influence the trade of import and export
as well
as
fast
food owners,
respectively
, which
directly
downhill the economy of one region. Hammering on the last nail, it is not an ideal solution to whole individuals, the
eductional
campaigns
must
ubiquitous among multitudes to
overoot
this problem.
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IELTS essay Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugar, which have bad effects on health. The price should be increased to decrease its uses.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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