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Many kind of animal have a danger of dying out. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Many kind of animal have a danger of dying out. LqX2p
It is argued that many species of animal are in danger of dying out. Animals are playing same roll as we humans plays a part from this it were an embellish creation by nature. I agree with this statement. There are plenty of reason of the animal die. However some of the situation can be solve by human beings for being responsible to them so they can survive to this earth. Moreover, if any kind of species were move out then they cause problem in the entire environment. To protect them government should made some laws. And this laws are very strict to people who were hunting for there business. Government should also aware about this laws to citizen because if they see any kind of hunting are operating so to help the animal from hunting and save them from dying out of there species. For instance, Gujarat government have made century for lions. The number of lions now increased rapidly and also punish them who were responsible for extinction of them. On the other hand, government should raise the forest office and animal doctor in forest to protect them if they are facing with any kind of disease. Additionally, nowadays due to COVID-19 there are some certain diseases are also spread in the entire world not only animals, humans are also dying due to this disease. As a result, not only lions if any kind of species are dying out countries and human are get affected of our ecosystem and it has to be balanced normally. For example, the COVID-19 pandemic that has been killing a huge number pf human kind links to wild bat possibly. Hence, we should hold a holistic view, and conduct a series of analysis for getting a deep understanding of the relationship between mankind and our neighbours. In summary, there is not an incompatible reason that the animal's issues could not be attended alongside humans. So to protect the animals are resemble as humans to maintain ecosystem.
It
is argued
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dying
out.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
are playing same roll as we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
plays a part from this it were
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'embellish' is correct. If 'embellish' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an embellish
creation by nature. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reason of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
situation can be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings for being responsible to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can survive to this earth.
Moreover
, if any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of species were
Consider using a past participle here: "moved".
move
out then they cause problem in the entire environment.

To protect them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
laws. And
Did you mean "these"?
this
laws are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were hunting for there business.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should
also
aware about
Did you mean "these"?
this
laws to citizen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of hunting are operating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
from hunting and save them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dying
out of
Did you mean "their"?
there
species.
For instance
, Gujarat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
have made century for lions.

The number of lions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
increased
rapidly
and
also
punish them who were responsible for extinction of them.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should raise the forest office and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
doctor in forest to protect them if they are facing with any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of disease.
Additionally
, nowadays due to COVID-19 there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain diseases are
also
spread in the entire world not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dying
due to this disease.
As a result
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lions if any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of species are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dying
out countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
of our ecosystem and it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be balanced
normally
.
For example
, the COVID-19 pandemic that has been killing a huge number pf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
links to wild bat
possibly
.
Hence
, we should hold a holistic view, and conduct a series of analysis for getting a deep understanding of the relationship between mankind and our
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.

In summary, there is not an incompatible reason that the animal's issues could not
be attended
alongside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
Consider using a past participle here: "resembled".
resemble
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to maintain ecosystem.

IELTS essay Many kind of animal have a danger of dying out.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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