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Many individuals prefer to talk online with peers than going outside in their surrounding networks? Do you think the advantages exceed the odds ?

Many individuals prefer to talk online with peers than going outside in their surrounding networks? Do you think the advantages exceed the odds? gABDd
In the cutting edge era, technology is at every place. At present time, people are choosing internet to contact with their friends tether than going outside with individuals. In my opinion, it's benefits are more than the drawbacks which I will discuss in upcoming paragraphs. To initialise, the physical contact has been replaced with internet to meet but there are many advantages of it. One of the best advantage is that the time will be saved because of remaining in touch online with the folks. In other words, most of the people go to surrounding networks for meeting with the masses but it is very time consuming. They waste their most of the time in the way of destination. So, what f any person contact with others through the internet while sitting at home then, they will be able to save their time and people can spent their in other activities. For instance, in foreign countries, businessmen use the internet to meet with others in order to save their time. That is why, these countries are developed and lead the other nations. As a result, most of the people use social media instead of physical contact. The second advantage is that people are safer from any health related diseases which spread through physical contact. To explain it, when people go with others in surrounding networks, then they face many difficulties aa s well as become the victim of hazardous diseases but when the individual contact with their companions through the other sources such as mobile phone at home, then they feel comfortable. To examplify it, recently In India, there was lockdown during corona pandemic, government had made strict rules and did not allow anyone to go outside with others. So, people chose the internet for meeting. So that they could nt come in the contact with the diseases. Therefore, internet is the best way to meet with others, so that people can protect their body from any disease. why most of the folks are preffering to talk online with their peers rather than actual meet? It is advisable to hat people should use the internet to contact to protect the body from viruses and in order to secure the time.
In the cutting edge era, technology is at every place. At present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choosing internet to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contact
with their friends tether than going outside with individuals. In my opinion, it's benefits are more than the drawbacks which I will discuss in upcoming paragraphs. To
Possible spelling mistake. 'initialise' is British English.
initialise
, the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contact
has
been replaced
with internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of it. One of the best
Please check whether a plural form of 'advantage' should be used.
advantage
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will
be saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of remaining in touch online with the folks. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to surrounding networks for meeting with the masses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
. They waste their most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the way of destination.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, what f any person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contact
with others through the internet while sitting at home then, they will be able to save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spent their in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities.
For instance
, in foreign countries, businessmen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with others in order to save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
That is
why, these countries
are developed
and lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations.
As a result
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social media
instead
of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contact
. The second advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are safer from any health related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
which spread through physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contact
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
others in surrounding networks, then they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties
Possible spelling mistake found.
aa
s well as become the victim of hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when the individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contact
with their companions through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources such as mobile phone at home, then they feel comfortable. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
it, recently In India, there was lockdown during corona pandemic,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had made strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
anyone to go outside with others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
chose the internet for meeting.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
they could
Possible spelling mistake found.
nt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contact
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
Therefore
, internet is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can protect their body from any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
why
most of the folks are
Possible spelling mistake found.
preffering
to talk online with their peers
rather
than actual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
? It is advisable to hat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contact
to protect the body from viruses and in order to secure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Many individuals prefer to talk online with peers than going outside in their surrounding networks? Do you think the advantages exceed the odds?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
370 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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