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Do you want to live to inn rural or in urban?

Do you want to live to inn rural or in urban? O69ld
From my perspecitve, i want to live in urban when i am young until i have my own family. And i will live in rural when i am older, may be when i become grandma. So why i have that decision? Well, i will tell you. There are two reasons make me want to live in urban when i am young. The first is when i finish my university, urban area is the best place for me to find better professtional opportunities, it is also the most important thing with the students fresh fromm university- a job with a good salary. Urban area is also the place i can have more experiences for my career, with my effort, may be i will get promote with a high salary. It means i have more money to take care my pareants better and myself. The second reason is urban area is always croweded, bustle with variety of colored lights, high buildings and amennities facilities. There are many places like entertainment center, zoo, cinemas, bar, club, . . . that draw people, particularly young ones. And then, as i become older, i will retire and move to rural area to live also for two reasons. First of all, in the countryside is very quiet will bring me the peace and comfort, i think no elderly guy enjoys noise. Second of all, living in the country help me avoid noise from vehicle and smoke, dust from them such as motobikes, cars, trucks and so on. So that i can live my life in peace and savour the fresh atmosphere.
From my
perspecitve
,
i
want to
live
in
urban
when
i
am young until
i
have my
own
family. And
i
will
live
in rural when
i
am older, may be when
i
become grandma.
So
why
i
have that decision? Well,
i
will
tell
you. There are two reasons
make
me want to
live
in
urban
when
i
am young. The
first
is when
i
finish my university,
urban
area
is the best place for me to find better
professtional
opportunities, it is
also
the most
important
thing with the students fresh
fromm
university- a job with a
good
salary.
Urban
area
is
also
the place
i
can have more experiences for my career, with my effort, may be
i
will
get
promote with a high salary. It means
i
have more money to take care my
pareants
better and
myself
. The second reason is
urban
area
is always
croweded
, bustle with variety of colored lights, high buildings and
amennities
facilities. There are
many
places like entertainment center, zoo, cinemas, bar, club
, .
.
.
that
draw
people
,
particularly
young ones. And then, as
i
become older,
i
will retire and
move
to rural
area
to
live
also
for two reasons.
First of all
, in the countryside is
very
quiet will bring me the peace and comfort,
i
think
no elderly guy enjoys noise. Second of all, living in the country
help
me avoid noise from vehicle and smoke, dust from them such as
motobikes
, cars, trucks and
so
on.
So
that
i
can
live
my life in peace and
savour
the fresh atmosphere.
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IELTS essay Do you want to live to inn rural or in urban?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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