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Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the work force in many developed countries is more than 50% female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Male employees are given preference in terms of filling high power executive positions like those of CEO and CFO in a corporation; despite the fact that almost half of the working population is female. Some people assert that a fixed number of these positions should be reserved for women; however, I partially agree with the statement and the following paragraphs will substantiate my view. To start with, gender equality is an ideology that essentially seeks to break limitations set by ancient stereotyping and to provide a society where opportunities of any genders are all equal. Men and women should have given the same chances as it avoids discrimination and creates a pleasant work environment. A quota for employing the women, if imposed will surely lead to more confident female community. Furthermore, it also bring a variety of benefits, for instance, varying the gender of the dominant class can offer companies diverse opinions and creative strategies for handling the challenges of the complicated economy. However, having the same number of men and women on all positions is simply unrealistic. A company should be free to appoint the best candidate for each position based on their qualifications, experience and skills, in order to contribute to the success of their business. In this way, both have same opportunities, and applicants know that they will be successful only if they work hard to achieve their goals. In addition, forcing companies to fulfill certain percentages will have adverse effect not only on the morale but the productivity of employees too. The goal of the company is to maximize its productivity therefore they must choose those who are able to demonstrate great adaptability from extensive knowledge in their field. To conclude, undeniably this practice will give women a platform to prove themselves. However, there should be other eligibility criteria in the selection process.
Male employees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
preference in terms of filling high power executive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
like those of CEO and CFO in a corporation; despite the fact that almost half of the working population is female.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
number of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
should
be reserved
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
;
however
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and the following paragraphs will substantiate my view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, gender equality is an ideology that
essentially
seeks to break limitations set by ancient stereotyping and to provide a society where opportunities of any genders are all equal.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the same chances as it avoids discrimination and creates a pleasant work environment. A quota for employing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, if imposed will
surely
lead to more confident female community.
Furthermore
, it
also
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “brings”.
bring
a variety of benefits,
for instance
, varying the gender of the dominant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
can offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
diverse opinions and creative strategies for handling the challenges of the complicated economy.

However
, having the same number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
is
simply
unrealistic. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should be free to appoint the best candidate for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
based on their qualifications, experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, in order to contribute to the success of their business. In this way, both have same opportunities, and applicants know that they will be successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve their goals.
In addition
, forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to fulfill certain percentages will have adverse effect not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the morale
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the productivity of employees too. The goal of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is to maximize its productivity
therefore
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose those who are able to demonstrate great adaptability from extensive knowledge in their field.

To conclude
,
undeniably
this practice will give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
a platform to prove themselves.
However
, there should be other eligibility criteria in the selection process.
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IELTS essay Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the work force in many developed countries is more than 50% female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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