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People use the internet for medical advice and to do medical check-ups rather than directly meeting with doctors in an office. Why are they using the internet for this? Discuss your viewpoints on this

Individuals seek reference from the web for consultation as well as medical examination instead of having a formal consultation with the doctor. There are several reasons behind this, however, I will give my perspective of this view To begin with, the internet offers many benefits to the patients. Firstly, people usually browse information on the internet to save time. In recent times, the hectic lifestyle of individuals do not permit them to seek medical advice by visiting the doctor. Secondly, the length of stay in the hospital before a patient will meet the physician also deters them from visiting the hospital. For instance, the number of patients at the out patients department is usually overwhelming in government hospitals. Additionally, the amount of money people spend as hospital bill is huge, hence, prevents them from seeking medical aid and resort to the internet for information with regards to their condition. There are some websites that allow patients to consult medical experts for health related issues so they do not acknowledge the importance of visiting the doctor personally. To illustrate, a teacher friend of mine made a research on her health condition and was given the required treatment online. In conclusion, many people use the internet to seek medical advice because it saves time and also the amount of money spent in the hospital is alarming. It is highly recommended that, people receive treatment from the doctor personally because, there are series of investigations carried out before a final diagnosis is made.
Individuals seek reference from the web for consultation
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
examination
instead
of having a formal consultation with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
. There are several reasons behind this,
however
, I will give my perspective of this view

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the internet offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
browse information on the internet to save time. In recent times, the hectic lifestyle of individuals
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “does”? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so ‘do’ is not always incorrect.)
do
not permit them to seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
advice by visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
.
Secondly
, the length of stay in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the physician
also
deters them from visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
.
For instance
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
at the out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
department is
usually
overwhelming in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
hospitals.

Additionally
, the amount of money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
bill is huge,
hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
aid and resort to the internet for information
Use “in regard to”, “with regard to”, or more simply “regarding”.
with regards to
their condition. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
websites that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
to consult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
experts for health related issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not acknowledge the importance of visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
personally
. To illustrate, a teacher friend of mine made
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “research”.
a research
on her health condition and was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the required treatment online.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet to seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
advice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it saves time and
also
the amount of money spent in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
is alarming. It is
highly
recommended that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
receive treatment from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
personally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, there are series of investigations carried out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a final diagnosis
is made
.
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IELTS essay People use the internet for medical advice and to do medical check-ups rather than directly meeting with doctors in an office. Why are they using the internet for this? Discuss your viewpoints on this

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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