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Many health problems today may be caused by modern technology. For example, children nowadays spend too much time sitting playing video games. They do not move enough so they can become overweight. In addition, due to the fact that using social media is a common hobby for many people, face-to-face activities such as sports are less popular that make people’s body weaker. Finally, office jobs involve too much time working with computers so people can develope wrist problem or back pain.

Many health problems today may be caused by modern technology. For example, children nowadays spend too much time sitting playing video games. They do not move enough so they can become overweight. In addition, due to the fact that using social media is a common hobby for many people, face-to-face activities such as sports are less popular that make people’s body weaker. Finally, office jobs involve too much time working with computers so people can develope wrist problem or back pain. pK1e3
Many health problems today may be caused by modern technology. For example, children nowadays spend too much time sitting playing video games. They do not move enough so they can become overweight. In addition, due to the fact that using social media is a common hobby for many people, face-to-face activities such as sports are less popular that make people’s body weaker. Finally, office jobs involve too much time working with computers so people can develope wrist problem or back pain.
Many
health problems
today
may
be caused
by modern technology.
For example
, children nowadays spend too much time sitting playing video games. They do not
move
enough
so
they can become overweight.
In addition
, due to the fact that using social media is a common hobby for
many
people
, face-to-face activities such as sports are less popular that
make
people
’s body weaker.
Finally
, office jobs involve too much time working with computers
so
people
can
develope
wrist problem or back pain.
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IELTS essay Many health problems today may be caused by modern technology. For example, children nowadays spend too much time sitting playing video games. They do not move enough so they can become overweight. In addition, due to the fact that using social media is a common hobby for many people, face-to-face activities such as sports are less popular that make people’s body weaker. Finally, office jobs involve too much time working with computers so people can develope wrist problem or back pain.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
81 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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