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Many governments think that the economic progress is their most important goal . Some people , however think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Many governments think that the economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. DKr6
Some governments belief that the most important aim is their economic growth. However a number of people think every types of improvement are equally important for a nation. In my opinion, all types of progression is needed for development in a country. The major factor for all types of development is money in today's world. Many countries focus on economic improvement of their country because in every sectors money is required. For instance, if a road facilities has to be developed then money is required. Economic progress is the major requirement for the promotion of a country. Many underdeveloped and developing country have to focus more on economic growth because without it the government cannot fulfill the basic needs of the people. It cannot provide the proper facilities to people. If there is economic success only then the nation can improve in every sectors. However, i support those who support that all types of progression are equally important. A country cannot improve its economic sectors without having proper facilities, proper education. The nation should be focused on the improvement of proper human rights, social justice, and equality. There should be clean and green environment as well as peace and prosperity for the improvement of a country. The success of a country depends on wellbeing and happiness of its residents. In conclusion, economy plays an important role in the development of nation. However, besides economic progress there are still many aspects which are equally important for a country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "governments'" or "government's"?
governments
belief that the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
aim is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "type"?
types
of
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improvement
are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. In my opinion, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of progression
is needed
for development in a country.

The major factor for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of development is money in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in every
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "sectors'" or "sector's"?
sectors
money
is required
.
For instance
, if a road
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "facility"?
facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be developed
then money
is required
.
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Economic
progress is the major requirement for the promotion of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
underdeveloped and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without it the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
cannot fulfill the basic needs of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It cannot provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. If there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
success
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "sector"?
sectors
.

However
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
support those who support that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of progression are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
sectors without having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
facilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
education. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should
be focused
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
human rights, social justice, and equality. There should be clean and green environment
as well
as peace and prosperity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The success of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
depends on
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
and happiness of its residents.

In conclusion
, economy plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
However
,
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects which are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.

IELTS essay Many governments think that the economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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