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Many governments invest a great deal of money in space research. What are the advantages and potential disadvantages of spending money on space exploration?

Many governments invest a great deal of money in space research. What are the advantages and potential disadvantages of spending money on space exploration? pLdVw
In the past decade, billions of dollars have been spent on space exploration. Although some support this investment, others feel that this money is squandered and should instead be spent tackling Earth’s many problems such as healthcare and education. In this essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of government spending taxpayer money on space research and why in my opinion positive impacts are superior to negative ones. Humans had greatly benefited from the research that has been conducted over the century. One positive outcome of this research has been the invention of a satellite. We have greatly expanded our communication and weather prediction capabilities which could significantly help meteorological department to predict the origin of a tsunami and take necessary precautions to minimise the causality. Another driving factor is, If we could found an earth-like planet nearby, for instance, our species could mine its resources or even colonise and potentially migrate there, once our own planet becomes uninhabitable. Despite these benefits, space exploration is very expensive and government had spent billion of dollar on it, which could be used to solve many of our problems on the earth itself. If this money had been spent instead on improving literacy and sanitation in the third world, or on researching vaccines and treatment of deadly diseases, our lives would be much better than they currently are. There is also the problem of space junk. When rockets and satellites launch and fall into disuse, they become the part of the litter that is already cluttering up space orbits. The debris possesses potential risks to the future mission as well as simply contributing to the global pollution problem. In conclusion, space research can have life-changing impact here on Earth, It does, however, come at a potentially huge cost if a nation does not prioritise its spending and neglects the environmental fallout of missions.
In the past decade, billions of dollars have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
support this investment, others feel that this money
is squandered
and should
instead
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
tackling Earth’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems such as healthcare and education. In this essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spending taxpayer money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and why in my opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts are superior to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones.

Humans had
greatly
benefited from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
that has
been conducted
over the century. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
has been the invention of a satellite. We have
greatly
expanded our communication and weather prediction capabilities which could
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
meteorological department to predict the origin of a tsunami and take necessary precautions to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the causality. Another driving factor is, If we could
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
found
an earth-like planet nearby,
for instance
, our species could mine its resources or even
Possible spelling mistake. 'colonise' is British English.
colonise
and
potentially
migrate there, once our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
planet becomes uninhabitable.

Despite these benefits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
of dollar on it, which could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of our problems on the earth itself. If this money had been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
instead
on improving literacy and sanitation in the third world, or on researching vaccines and treatment of deadly diseases, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
would be much better than they
currently
are. There is
also
the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
junk. When rockets and satellites launch and fall into disuse, they become the part of the litter
that is
already cluttering up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
orbits. The debris possesses potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
to the future mission
as well
as
simply
contributing to the global pollution problem.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
can have life-changing impact here on Earth, It does,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at a
potentially
huge cost if a nation does not
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
its spending and neglects the environmental fallout of missions.
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IELTS essay Many governments invest a great deal of money in space research. What are the advantages and potential disadvantages of spending money on space exploration?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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